Awareness Vs Response

I woke up aware just not responsive. I did not connect with any stored knowledge. Like when your computer is shut down improperly and Windows is not set at start on next boot. All that surrounded me i drew a blank. I lay there hanging in neutral not even confused; just because i went to sleep in the middle of the day, i woke up a blank page. Finally after feeling physical parameters and realizing i could stand i was greeted by my roommate whom i did not know, with a tv going in the background, so hearing sounds that made no sense while very slowly came a realization there was parts --BIG parts -- gone from my knowledge-base and i was not connecting with all. It was a terrible strain to make sense of the things that i was being told as i started to feel a void for all i was hearing that described who I am. Fear was growing with each bit of memory coming back suggestive that there's more than i can grasp. I now understand that physically awareness is a separate layer from responsiveness --like for those in a coma -but truly are we much different than the concepts of computers and programs. It's said that we only recreate nature. Maybe i was at the end of my files, no inspiration to drive a spark that ignites recognition of any stored document. Like my file cabinets, designed in early childhood development had locked me out; I must start over by a new value system -like working in dos mode. Maybe emotional overload has burned out a connection but accessing memories is no longer File-Centric. My now awareness that this universes expressions persists even outside of our Human-Centric values, and the object-oriented value system i learned had misaligned the poles of my perception --I do see things differently now. True, a picture is worth a million words, since a description -Yin- is voluminous, tho its definition -Yang- is simpler, this concept is quickly denied by our logic since inside can't exceed outside in the physical world. In defense of self: We own life's effects on us, since knowledge interwoven with experiences is how duality defines us. While we project our perceptions onto our subjects ascribing to their properties all that we see if collectively agree upon is a constant in the equation of a total sum in but just a singular value of multifaceted expressions. Our most basic, universal, filters of perception, w/conditioning follows a linear path and why we fail to know while acceptance of this realm in its entirety' is a submission that empowers us.