Notes About The Poem

 

 

Poetry Contest: Awakening From Stupor

Sponsor: Unseeking Seeker

Date written: Jan 17, 2024

Awakening From Stupor

I welcome
the grogginess.
That dulling of my senses.
Until the walls turn to hazy grey.
My hand coming in and out of focus.
Another two fingers of whiskey 
swirling in my glass.
“Bottoms up”
making short work of a Fifth.
“99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!”
No one around to stop the madness.
Booze and beer bottles litter this dingy motel room.
Mr. Peanut, staring at me 
from the side of a Planters peanut can.
It’s worth the extra buck fifty for a classy snack.
A bag of pretzels on the dresser as back up.

How many trips to the liquor mart on Fourth?
Shuffling, shuffling, no need to drive.
I chose my motel well, 
one block south, lean to the left and voila!
Fifteen minutes later back to the room.
No need to fumble with the lock 
it’s easier to leave the door open.
The ”Do not disturb” hanger is still on the door knob.
Three days 5 hours, one less room for the maid to clean.
She probably got to go home a half hour early. 
No bargain though, it might take 3 days to catch up.

“Three bottles of beer on the wall, if one of those bottles should happen to fall” Oh crap, I piss myself again.
Too numb, to shuffle to the can.  The smell of piss and vomit doesn’t even register. I fall forward like a tree that has been chopped down. There is a cracking sound as my nose breaks but no pain. I’m now in a dreamless land. 

Thirteen hours later the Motel Manager is shaking me hard.
“Hey man, wake up. If you don’t get out of here I’m calling the police.” Meanwhile I hear the clink of glass bottles as the maid fills a garbage bag with my empties.
The smell of vomit, piss and blood permeates my broken nose. Thoughts flood my mind, I want that numbness again. I don’t care if it doesn’t solve my problems.

It makes them bearable.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

Poem

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Manassian Avatar
December 5, 2024 at 5:58 AM
Oh... what a sad write. Addiction is a Demon that doesn't give up possession easily. It's hard to imagine how you could write this so skilfully without being a victim yourself. I have missed you.
Lamoureux Avatar
December 5, 2024 at 6:32 AM
Although I wasn’t addicted myself, I was very much a victim.
George Avatar
January 21, 2024 at 2:12 AM
What damage a man is inviting on himself through alcoholism. This is too pinching ! Addiction of any sort can boost the beast in one. He becomes insensitive to the plight he is in. Powerful presentation, rather intimidating !
Lamoureux Avatar
January 21, 2024 at 3:06 AM
Thanks for reading and commenting Valsa. It is indeed a disturbing circumstance.
Maverick Avatar
January 20, 2024 at 11:58 PM
A lot of detail here Richard, its seems you have Some experience of this troubling situation i had A distant cousin i never met but one who knew Me and him told me..He lived mostly in a drunken state The parents took him to hospital to get dried Out but this actually killed him, he was too dependant All the best.'
Lamoureux Avatar
January 21, 2024 at 3:11 AM
That is sad Joe. Some don’t make it through. I come from a family where there is generational substance abuse. I decided early that I would choose a different path. Thanks for reading and commenting Joe.
Beaufort Avatar
January 19, 2024 at 2:58 AM
You’ve really described this well. A couple of years ago I was having a cardiac issue. The occupants of the other bed in the hospital room were there for issues related to alcohol. Thanks for this…alcohol is a common addiction that I also see in some relatives. It’s pretty potent stuff.
Lamoureux Avatar
January 19, 2024 at 5:57 PM
Thanks for such an empathetic response. Although people make bad decisions that start then down a path, it’s difficult to escape the grip that alcohol holds on them.
Empress Avatar
January 19, 2024 at 2:13 AM
Dear Richard, alcoholism and addiction is a hard subject to write about especially if you’ve witnessed closely, loved ones struggling with the disease, yes it is a disease often considered by the society as bad habit. Your poem was so vivid and very unique for seekers contest. And its one that needs awareness more on. And you’ve depicted it so well! Pleasure always reading various takes from you, on so many deep subjects. Best wishes for the contest
Lamoureux Avatar
January 19, 2024 at 5:58 PM
Thanks for this thoughtful response.
Dietrich Avatar
January 18, 2024 at 4:37 PM
Really cool how you embodied the misery of stupid. Great job
Lamoureux Avatar
January 19, 2024 at 5:59 PM
No worries. Spell check gets me all the time.;0)
Dietrich Avatar
January 18, 2024 at 11:45 PM
Omg I am seeing what I wrote. I meant stupor. My phone did not recognize the word first time I texted it and I had to get off my phone right as finished earlier this evening. Sorry about that
Lamoureux Avatar
January 18, 2024 at 5:21 PM
Thanks Andrea. I don’t know so much if they are stupid but I do know they are sad and don’t know how to cope with their misery. I agree it is a poor coping mechanism.
Gentile Avatar
January 18, 2024 at 12:43 PM
Wow Richard, the images you created here are really palpable ! Thought totally a serious subject, I have to admit that I found such amusement at " Mr. Peanut staring at me"! I've had that experience as well!! Great entry for the contest!
Lamoureux Avatar
January 18, 2024 at 3:24 PM
Thanks Mike for your engaging response. Blessings Richard.
Poet Avatar
January 17, 2024 at 7:23 PM
The destructive nature of alcoholism and the cycle of self-destruction it perpetuates, the loss of control, and the toll it takes on the individual's physical and mental well-being, are well-depicted in your poem. The language used in the poem is raw and unfiltered, mirroring the harsh reality of the situation. The word choice is visceral, conveying the desperation of being in such a state. Great imagery, personification, and repetition are used to evoke a sense of disorientation, GL Richard.
Lamoureux Avatar
January 17, 2024 at 7:27 PM
Thanks for such an insightful response. I appreciate you taking time to read it.
Greenhough Avatar
January 17, 2024 at 1:29 PM
It doesn't sound like fun. Addiction is terrible. Just wondering. About how much does a maid get tipped under these circumstances? I hope you win.
Lamoureux Avatar
January 17, 2024 at 1:33 PM
Thanks Hilda. Under those circumstances I don’t think it will be enough.
One Avatar
January 17, 2024 at 11:29 AM
A very different take on the contest and one that will relate to some.. Just to let you know, contest rules mean no mention of the info you have included at the bottom of your poem, it can be in notes though.. All the best..
Lamoureux Avatar
January 17, 2024 at 11:38 AM
Thanks for the heads up.
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