At Pocklington Little Fest

The tattooed drunk 
With the expensive shoes,
And a desperate look 
Of having  nothing to lose,
Barracked me at the microphone.
I was so glad he was on his own.
A single drunk is easy to quell
More than one can be a hell.
I finished my spot, went for a beer
Turned around to see him 
Standing quite  near. 
He looked at me with pin holed eyes 
Then he said, with anguished sighs 
I  may look young  
But I’m seventy two 
Nano bots in my veins 
To make my body renew.
He said this was done 
Just to keep him alive
Because he was a spy for MI five.
He said there was danger 
In everything  he did
Then he tried to tap me 
For twenty quid.
I’d no idea what he’d been on 
But bottled and sold 
He could’ve made a bomb. 
I didn’t bother to tell 
My aspiring mate 
That, for a few years 
I’d worked for MI8.
We left him there mumbling away
Sometime these characters 
Can make your day,
And sometimes, and it  could be worse
Provide some  fuel for dodgy verse.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022


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Date: 11/1/2022 2:39:00 PM
A poet’s observation!
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Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 11/2/2022 4:41:00 AM
Thanks Kim
Date: 11/1/2022 7:48:00 AM
So good, and I should know… I used to be Dave Allen… before my brain was transplanted into Jasper Carrot (10,000 American readers are now saying, “Who?”. Different vein entirely but I couldn’t help but think of Jasper Carrot’s ‘Nutter on the bus’ sketch. Thanks for the laugh, Terry. Terry. P.S. anyone seen my camel?
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Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 11/2/2022 4:40:00 AM
Good Lord, what an awesome combination, Jasper and Dave- glad you weren't doing the barracking Terry. We'd have just given up
Date: 11/1/2022 6:33:00 AM
LOL. Another sad drunk who had it, then lost it.
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Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 11/2/2022 4:38:00 AM
Thanks Linda - he really was sad Terry
Date: 11/1/2022 5:37:00 AM
Not dodgy, I liked it. You depicted a drunk very well. OK so maybe two would have been hell. Cheers from Wendy
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Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 11/2/2022 4:38:00 AM
There was an audience of about 30 out for lunch and a drink, really hard work. His barracking helped bring them round and we got a good hand when we finished, so i suppose he did us a favour/
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