At Any Rate

At any rate the traffic was horrendous on interstate 24
constantly coming to a standstill like a sloth trying to crawl
or slower than molasses is a better description
many cars getting off the next exit because of the sign inscription,

Quickly parking many ran like Forrest Gump into the gas station
surprised to find a long queue which looked like the United Nations
of females with the same anguished looks on their faces
some jumping up and down while others did some pacing,

I'd say the line was at least twenty females long
with our bladders about to burst while standing in the throng
we'd glance at the bathroom door whispering a silent prayer
knowing if we had an accident it would be a nightmare,

So we'd chit chat a bit and try to calm each other
united like sisters quite aware we weren't equipped like our brothers
who would see their male bathroom line being pretty long as well
they'd quickly run outside as if breaking out of a prison cell,

Before I knew it my turn to use the latrine was next
so I ran in there like a female sailor ready to hit the deck
afterwards my body felt relief like never before
grateful I didn't leave any embarrassing puddles on the floor,

On the walk back to my car I called my family
telling them about my restroom experience in the Tennessee Valley
and how the queue moved pretty fast although no piece of cake
having had reached the "porcelain throne" just in time at any rate.


1-14-18
Copyright © | Year Posted 2018


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Date: 1/20/2018 9:08:00 PM
This is so great Cheryl! Clever wonderful rhyme to illustrate your story :) Thanks for the laugh today :-0... by the way, I saw a comment you made to Harry... I'm a Monkees fan too! :)
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Cheryl Hoffman
Date: 1/20/2018 11:32:00 PM
Oh wow, were probably in the minority on that one lol! I had a crush on Davy Jones even though he was kind of short! Thanks so much for very kind comment and glad you got laugh out of it! Appreciate it~Che :)
Date: 1/16/2018 1:10:00 PM
Enjoyed your humorous poem, Cheryl, we've all been there and the older you get the worse it gets. Best of luck. John
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Cheryl Hoffman
Date: 1/16/2018 5:18:00 PM
So true about the older we get the worse it gets (unfortunately!)…Thanks so much for very kind comment and visit John; Appreciate it!~Che :)
Date: 1/16/2018 7:24:00 AM
This is an amazing poem Cheryl, an experience most have had, yet the way you wove it, brilliant. and as for the porcelain throne, bet God has one?.
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Cheryl Hoffman
Date: 1/16/2018 8:15:00 AM
Lol, don't know if God has one or not but that is a good question! Thanks so much for very kind comment and visit Harry; really appreciate it!~Che :)
Date: 1/15/2018 9:31:00 PM
Omg and lol! Boy can I relate to this Cheryl. Having to drive too often to Boston for my daughter's medical appointments, I have been in this same stressful bladder situation, sadly, way more than once. A great poem so well written, witty (in your usual wonderful style) and with great rhymes. It's just fantastic. Best wishes for a win! ~Susan
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/15/2018 10:27:00 PM
Lol! I love the humor and empathy of your reply Che! Thank you :))
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Cheryl Hoffman
Date: 1/15/2018 9:44:00 PM
It would be nice if someone would invent an auto toilet for us females…maybe I will and take it to the Shark Tank show lol! Sorry about your stressful situation having to drive to Boston for daughters med appts…I guess we can always depend on Depends just in case (ewww, lol!)Thanks so much for very kind comment and encouragement Susan; really appreciate it!~Che :)
Date: 1/15/2018 2:11:00 PM
Damn, sounds awful, I hate traffic and I do not like driving much either.. Great poem Che..
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Cheryl Hoffman
Date: 1/15/2018 8:22:00 PM
I don't mind driving, its just getting caught in bumper to bumper traffic that drives me (pun intended) up a wall…Thanks so much for very kind comment and visit Silent One; Appreciate it!~Che :)
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