At Any Rate
At any rate the traffic was horrendous on interstate 24
constantly coming to a standstill like a sloth trying to crawl
or slower than molasses is a better description
many cars getting off the next exit because of the sign inscription,
Quickly parking many ran like Forrest Gump into the gas station
surprised to find a long queue which looked like the United Nations
of females with the same anguished looks on their faces
some jumping up and down while others did some pacing,
I'd say the line was at least twenty females long
with our bladders about to burst while standing in the throng
we'd glance at the bathroom door whispering a silent prayer
knowing if we had an accident it would be a nightmare,
So we'd chit chat a bit and try to calm each other
united like sisters quite aware we weren't equipped like our brothers
who would see their male bathroom line being pretty long as well
they'd quickly run outside as if breaking out of a prison cell,
Before I knew it my turn to use the latrine was next
so I ran in there like a female sailor ready to hit the deck
afterwards my body felt relief like never before
grateful I didn't leave any embarrassing puddles on the floor,
On the walk back to my car I called my family
telling them about my restroom experience in the Tennessee Valley
and how the queue moved pretty fast although no piece of cake
having had reached the "porcelain throne" just in time at any rate.
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