Assuming we Survive
Bricks through windshields,
Darts through hanging pictures of me
And cracks in the photos, framed on the shelf
But they're not there physically
My trust makes a run for the hills
As the rumors start to spill
And I already turned the car around in my head
But my feet kept trekking forward instead
But it's not the steps I'm taking,
It's the cliff I'm headed towards
And it's not the drama-club romance I'm exaggerating,
It’s the other half of the book that you're not sharing
Between you and the everest I'm climbing towards,
The upward resistance leaves me floored
Between the green and the grave,
Remained the notebook paper I gave to you in which my heart was poured
This isn't a conversation,
It’s a notification
I’m surrendering to the serenity within the nicknames you call me
It’s a sickness I’m grappling with
I’m pausing in the realities I keep flowing in between
For dopamine and admittedly for attention
“Maybe from a hospital” she said
The skeletons are snoring in the closet,
My last chance suffocated in a locked garage
With carbon monoxide oozing from its edges
But I am the room I confine myself in
And why does it still feel cool to be doing this?
Like burning cash for a paper tube of toxic ash
My inner child's praying for an ounce of rebellion
But why do I still think this is an appealing part of me?
I've lost my shield to the sirens
They haunt me with an insidious passion
Come to me with a plan and say “we're doing it my way”
You have an empty mind bank with a hose for a throat full of words to spray
Run to the hills and see if I care
There's too many to die on
Where I can’t see you defending me over harm
This isn't what I wanted
And I can barely even feel you in my arms
How far am I from going back in time and holding your hand?
“Maybe from a hospital bed” she said
But I am the room I confine myself in
And so what if I have to do it in a gown?!
I like to escape to where I can manifest things
And in a heartbeat, I could conjure a blinding linoleum floor
With breath in the form of beeping sounds
You couldn't even wait until I drifted away
You couldn’t even wait until I drifted away
YOU COULDN'T EVEN WAIT UNTIL I DRIFTED AWAY
AND NOTHING I COULD’VE SAID WOULD’VE MADE YOU STAY
But you couldn’t even wait until I drifted away…
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