Ascending From a Fools Feast

I thought that I could resist you
Until you fell down at my feet
Seeing those hungry wanting eyes
I prayed, my soul you would not eat

Now the preacher could not save me
As I succumbed to your embrace  
A feeble man that seemed so strong
Would be ensnared by one in lace

You made me scream like a baby
For I knew that I had a choice
A mad quest for carnal pleasures
I was enticed by sultry voice

Luscious whispering in my ear
The simple promise that you made
We just had a single evening
Yet within my mind you stayed

Why couldn't the old preacher heal me
when before him my sins were layed
Although the pleasure was fleeting
The memory of you wouldn't fade

All I had was that one photo
Of you the girl with wanting eyes
I've consumed so many hours
A fool holding onto my lies

For as the Mercury rises
Silver tendrils reach for my hand
I'm a man who feasts on famine
Cracked hourglasses hold no sand!

The preacher revealed my secret
My indiscretion was exposed
In the end I found my freedom
When the chapter of lust was closed!





A write for Lyrics II Rob Carmack's Black Crowes Contest

Inspired by their song "Descending"

A purely fictional write.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



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Date: 8/22/2016 12:57:00 PM
The language is amazing..so many stand out lines, I would end up "quoting" your entire lyrics.. so suffice to say I absolutely love it :-) You have really captured the desire and thus, the 'after' effect of inner turmoil with great honesty on a topic rarely discussed. Though pure fiction, sadly many in real life succumb to 'self medicating' for so called 'relief' so the last verse is truly soulful 'liberation'. A thoughtful terrific write, I will check out the song. Congrats on the win :-) lynn
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Date: 6/13/2016 7:06:00 AM
Congrats Richard, for your top placement with this awesome piece!! ;-)
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Date: 6/12/2016 7:27:00 PM
A 7 for this well-written poem. Congrats on your win, Richard. Janice
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 6/12/2016 7:46:00 PM
Thanks Janice. I just posted a new one you might enjoy.
Date: 6/12/2016 11:39:00 AM
Congratulations on your win. Great job.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 6/12/2016 6:49:00 PM
Thanks Scott.
Date: 6/11/2016 1:37:00 PM
For a fictional write, sure captures the essence as though you lived it. Many men are easily hooked and worse, most think nothing of it. Very well done Richard. Congrats.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 6/12/2016 8:06:00 AM
That is one of the flaws of man, only repentant if he is caught. Thanks for picking this one Rob. I'm glad I made it feel real. I'm glad my mom vouched for me *lol*. If I ever did fool around on my sweetie mom would string me up.
Date: 5/28/2016 9:50:00 PM
Glad that it's fictional ... but there's no doubt that many have fallen victim to this; masterfully done, putting yourself in another man's shoes. I enjoyed the metaphors in your penultimate stanza: "I'm a man who feasts on famine Cracked hourglasses hold no sand!" ... it may feel like a feast, at the time, but it's unsustainable in the long run ...
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/29/2016 8:40:00 AM
I think all of us can be vulnerable if we put ourselves in temptations way. It is best to maintain our vigilance. Thanks for commenting.
Date: 5/16/2016 10:40:00 AM
You make it sound so real and I know it is fiction Well written and good luck in the contest Love Mom
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/16/2016 9:08:00 PM
I'm glad it was realistic mom. Thankfully I don't have to live with any guilt. Love Rick.
Date: 5/12/2016 9:14:00 AM
I like that you wrote this in first person.. and this is a great description of what lust can do. One of my favorite lines is, "A feeble man that seemed so strong Would be ensnared by one in lace" ~~ Very well done.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/13/2016 7:48:00 AM
Hi Becca, I believe that any off us can be ensnared if we put ourselves in compromising situations. For me I value my relationship to highly to put it and myself at risk. Thanks for the great comment.
Date: 5/11/2016 12:30:00 PM
Richard, Ur poem is enriched with good literature & so many great lines. A7.........//:) hugs
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/11/2016 7:28:00 PM
Thank you Manmath, I appreciate the hug and the 7.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/11/2016 1:17:00 PM
Thanks Lenny.
Date: 5/11/2016 12:27:00 PM
Gripping write. Great job!
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/11/2016 7:29:00 PM
Much appreciated Tom.
Date: 5/11/2016 11:44:00 AM
The eyes say so much. This is such a fantastic depiction of what temptation is capable of doing. Great write.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/11/2016 12:21:00 PM
Thanks Eileen, I wasn't sure if I hit the mark as there have been few comments. Thanks for your positive comment, hugs Rick.
Date: 5/11/2016 8:28:00 AM
Very likeable adaptation of the song Richard.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 5/11/2016 8:30:00 AM
Thanks Lenny.
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