As soon As

Time was pushing it by, what do I do when you come through? There are little paper things cropped from different hands. They needed to be put to one and another. But I was done with the thought that I'll never put one on you. So with every strengths written on the bags of paper, slipping through my fingers, I let out fall one or two, Was it a right thing to do? But you were doing your own thing too. So we both won't react differently. I come by different smiles. Taking them by my side. I saw you near my side, "Here you go", you say while not looking at me. Has the World suddenly started to rotate differently? Were tears never shed? Was anger never met? I learned enough so I didn't say thank you, but after you were gone, I quickly rushed to your table and brought the paper: "funny and has a lot of fanasies" on it. I were even skipping a few. But quickly I took it back and passed it to your friends seat. You saw bringing it to you. To your *direction*. But have you seen to whom? When I again took the paper you have written on by your sign:"smartest" was clicking in my brain bright. Your friend was telling you to write something to me, you hesitated but I didn't hear you clearly. Or did I do, but didn't wanted to? How didn't I realize, that it was just that what you would write. While I held it with my both hands, I saw that you have written with a pencil like me too. Was I trying to see a connection? And when other people or should I call them friends? Came by, I quickly just snapped it under my hand. I threw it away After everyone was gone, while you sat near the trashcan. You don't know me that well. You don't know me that well to even know what my handwriting is. Are you searching mine in the bunch of those? Because you will not see any one. I was scared that he will throw away mine, but now I am the one who threw without thinking to keep it away in my bag. I am somehow disgusted if I think about you still could have mine. I was again Manipulating myself. Was your:"here you go" not enough? I even felt bad for not saying thank you. But you didn't even waited for one. That I would've.. Is something I will never get away from.