As I Lay In the Dark

As I lay in the dark, accompanied by only my thoughts
and memories.
   I can feel the grip of the night, clutching with its embrace
of ill intent.
   Plunging me into the depths of its blackness.
Slowly drowning me in my fears.
   Attempts of self calming being overrun.
An increase in body temperature, partnered by tachycardia.
   Failure, rejection, compounding self doubt.
Anxieties deriving from outside opinions of charlatans.
   Holding water in the cranium like edema.
Deep deliberate breathes, followed by a slow exhalation.
   Subconscious whispering rebellious philosophy.
Swiftly lungeing into an upright position, telling myself
to listen.
   Face all opposition, no matter the resistance.
There is no tomorrow, until you live through today.
   Matter of opinion isn't really a matter at all.
Vanish the world and become enthralled with self.
   No over the shoulder glances until destinated arrival.
Being alone, unsuccessful, and betrayed, comes with 
the package.
   Delivery need not be accepted, opt to refuse.
Self imported zeal reorders the path of one's own deliverance.
   Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot
change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom 
to know the difference.
   Now I lay me down to sleep, reassured I will claim my victory.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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