As I Am

I give my all , when I write these words , your probably sitting back , thinking this guy's, really had the nerve , maybe it's the drinking , stunting my learning curve , reminiscing on my past , soaring like a bird , these bad memories fill my glass , until I slur my words , I ain't never had no dad , so how I'm supposed to know , if you never water a plant , and expect to watch it grow , lost my mom when I was twelve , heart like the driven snow , and I been in and out of jail , like all my life so , No , expectations to prevail or reach them heights and go , to a place where I exhale and show the world I'm more , then a two bit thug , I inherited the dysfunction , watching my mom on drugs , and embraced the only culture , coming from where I'm from , disrespectful in it's nature , but yet still filled with love , I can't lie there is a hatred for the things I've done , I grew up feeling displacement , from the spirit above , always seems the devils chasing , and just won't let up , but know that , I was born of greatness , so I can't give up , get high now back and forth I'm pacing , this is your brain on drugs , and know my family can't relate , to when my thoughts go numb , all this contemplating taking my motivation to run , and every set back that I'm facing , makes me feel like a bum , I Know I hurt to many people , for me to sit back and judge , but if forgiveness as no equal , how come , I don't feel the love , seems like their pissing on my head , blocking my view from the sun , probably not long before I'm dead , so give these words to my son , and my two daughters , know that daddy was a son of a gun , and to the people I call family , know that my love is obscured , he must be crazy like his mammy , an understatement of words , but I give thanks , to the one who had me , so take that bull wit cha , even if you don't understand me , know that my empathy trust , and my loyalty's withstanding the disappointment from us , when this life gets so demanding that you feel you just can't , remember one thing that you are battling , is the person in the mirror!