Around the Sun Again

So here I am 64 years after my mother gave me the gift of Life and I have so much regret I have so many failures and so many I wish I would have moments I should have stayed with little, cuddly Ali, she was an honest soul with no bad bones in her body unfortunately I was attracted to another I left Ali and I feel bad about the way I ended our relationship it was something I had to do my new girl was stunning she truly was why she fell for me I don't know! we had great times together we shared glittering memories and we also shared the darkest of times culminating in her mental breakdown and nothing can prepare you for the sledgehammer of being among smokey shadows of despair her mother thought she was directing a pantomime making her daughter a panto villain of course I was blamed for her breakdown it was my fault obviously her mother who claimed to be a Christian never liked me I was a working class lad they were middle class and had money I was a long haired hippy and I was not a Christian I was a new age demon who led mommy's sweet girl astray yes her family had money but I never found any love there luckily for me the psychiatrist took me aside and told me the breakdown was due to family trauma that had begun in childhood so much for having money and some forty years later I return to my darkest and harrowing of memories she never fully recovered although she was fine for five or so years but the meds killed my angel who was never the same again and yes I still love her I always will. Lenny Gazbowski © 2024