Apology

I built your effigy out of needles
I hugged it, ceaselessly
Everytime I thought of you
The needles snapped and broke off
Now hang from my skin
Oozing pus and loathing

I carry them with me, to work, to bed
Like I carry my hate that
I swing like a sword 
Though the shape is a shield
And I hold it under my tongue
A capsule of cyanide
Begging to self destruct

Am I responsible
For the hate that slipped from
The spaces between one flinch and the next
The crack of my jaw when it was held stuck
You condensed me until I was blood and pus and needles and fear

Do I need to apologise
When you try and hug your once little girl 
And wound yourself?
I know,
I know I built you out of pain in my head, but
Was there any other version I saw?
Did I kill the real you?
Did I know you?
Did you?

I think I need to hate you
To love someone else
Something else
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace