Apologize To Myself

I didn't know your name was joy something I never found in my toolbox or between the medicine packs in the kitchen cupboard time to replace the wrong things that I threw on the shelves of illusion because a shy sun dares through the clouds just now that I tasted sugar at the end of bitter coffee I must apologize to myself I thought happiness it was just another plastic word created to sell insurance and refrigerators when I saw your face smiling through the windshield next to the gas station pump I already knew I was doomed to our love's death row