Anxiety

The shallow breaths, a pounding heart. I try not to lose control fighting against the darkness the threatens to swallow me whole my shaking hands, unsteady steps just trying not to fall apart in the spot that I stand. I dont know how I got this way but I can easily fall apart I feel like someone should wrap me up in tape labeled warning and fragile one drop one crack and I just might fall apart some people call it anxiety while some might say unstable all I know is I cant stand it I feel completely out of control. I dont understand how to cope with this feeling Anxiety I used to slice and bleed to away just to keep it at bay for a while till that just wasn't an option anymore then I would scratch and claw myself raw to make the darkness fade away now I breath deeply, rock back and forth fighting the tears that slide down my face count and whisper numbers not stopping till the shaking goes away I try to keep busy fill my mind with random things books, shows and music trying not to have a empty head its when its empty that the feeling comes back letting me know I haven't escaped but I wont let this feeling anxiety beat me I will beat it and get it under control because of I where to ever give up if I ever gave in then I would have lost and anxiety just wont win not with me, not this time or the next im stronger than that and I will show everyone.