Another Sister Taken- 'Death Prevails'

*Many of you know I lost my sister to suicide in 2010. What you may not know is that I lost another sister (Nick's sister) to addiction in 2007. We were as close as sisters could be- She did not intentionally end her life, but the dr said, "you overdose one more time, you will die". And she did. I don't talk about her as much as I should, and I have never posted a poem about her on here. This is my first. It was too hard for me because her death rippled our lives into a place of pain and struggle. Lasted for years. Thank you for reading my poetry, it is much appreciated* ````````````````````````````````````````````````````` DEDICATED TO MY LATE SISTER, MICHELLE I don’t talk much about her, write not of the anguish but here I sit thinking about what I could have done differently the days leading up to her death- darkness enveloped her and she was found head down laying on the bathroom floor still… craving one more addiction ran through her veins like a bloodstream to a place I fear nowadays, it grabbed her in a moment of weakness and she fell down… abandoned on the bathroom floor- breathless yet, still... longing for one more she spoke in volumes of love but her chestnut pupils dilated, body skinny, worn from malnutrition; laughter into tears for years- and I know what that means, too far gone to rescue- so we all stood there hands held, around the hospital bed where her mind left her body and machines made her heart beat, if only for a little bit so we could say farewell- “click” “snap” (pulling the plug so her life will end) slowly she drifted into forever sleep, and softly I let go of her already cold and stiff hand funeral plans made it all too real- I couldn’t understand how to feel when you lose someone who chooses addiction over life -four years later- why again why me why her why now yet- another sister gone from the pain addiction wears weeping from the loss of two sisters choosing death; now free from addiction (finally) "I never knew the pain I’d feel losing you- you never knew the pain I’d feel losing you too" August 19, 2019