Another Four

ALWAYS CHECK YOUR TANK 

Johnny Smiths gang had just robbed the town bank
With gang members scar face Mike, and old Hank
Their getaway car 
Wasnt going far
Cos Hank forget to put gas in the tank...

SHIVER ME TIMBERS

An old pirate had woodworm in his leg
Wanted to go ashore for a new peg
As he walked down the gangway
His old withered stump gave way
He cursed as o'er the side went his rum keg... 

THE GRADUATE

It was Elaine Robinsons wedding day
Poor Ben shouted through the window "no way" 
Mrs Robinson just glared 
All the congregation stared
As Elaine and Ben made their getaway... 

CAN'T SIT

A window cleaner was cleaning the glass 
Spied the owner in bed with a young lass 
Asked could he join in the fun
Saw the owner get his gun
Now cant sit cos of buckshot in his a.s.s...


Written 1st September 2020.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Faulkner Avatar
September 13, 2020 at 8:24 PM
Funny stuff, Tom, guess the common theme is 'be prepared!'
Cunningham Avatar
September 14, 2020 at 10:28 AM
Thank you very much Michelle, now if they'd all been boy scouts lol. Hope alls well. Tom
Laurie Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 8:18 PM
Hello Tom ... you're really on a limerick roll right now, and they're all a pleasure to read. Thanks for all Tom - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
September 3, 2020 at 2:34 AM
Thank you Lindsay, im happy you enjoyed them. Tom
One Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 1:39 PM
Four very funny limericks.
Cunningham Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 2:19 PM
Thanks S. O., im glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Romios Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 7:56 AM
Hi Tom..you know which one I like best... LOL Love The Graduate...saw that movie so many times. I wanted to be Mrs. Robinson...go figure that one. I can't. Pangiexx Excuse my late response. Eyes bothering me.
Cunningham Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 8:51 AM
Thank you Panagiota, thanks for the inspiration on that one.lol The graduate is a great movie, I always watch it when it's showing. Tom
Canerdy Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 5:52 AM
Thanks for the laugh, Tom. Janice
Cunningham Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 5:57 AM
Thank you Janice, I'm happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Koplin Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 3:36 AM
You truly have a talent to spread smiles and laughter my friend! I love your limericks, great job!
Cunningham Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 5:25 AM
Thank you very much Mark, im happy that you enjoyed them. Tom
Andresen Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 1:32 AM
- Thank you ... yes we need laughter ... you always deliver with skill and humor in your limerics - Have a lovely day, Tom :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Cunningham Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 1:57 AM
Thank you very much Anne, they say laughter is the best medicine, I fully. Been a dark year so far, just hope things dont get worse with the coming of winter. Hope you too have a good day. Tom
Nicole Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 8:40 PM
(Giggle) I love the first one and the last one best. With no gas in the car, it will not move. Promise you that. And, watch out for window cleaners, looking in, just wanting to have some fun- and those with guns. This is cute and clever. I am smiling. :) Brandy
Cunningham Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 12:55 AM
Thank you very much Brandy, im happy you enjoyed them. We cant have enough laughter with that big covid cloud hanging over us. Hope you're well Tom
Wolf Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 8:08 PM
Gotta check that gas tank, eh?! Just love all of these, Tom. You are the 'Lord of the Limerick!' Alert coming soon for your crowning by the Queen Mother... :) gw
Cunningham Avatar
September 2, 2020 at 12:53 AM
Thank you Gershon, it was Panagiota who inspired the first one. I'd have a long wait, she passed years ago lol. Tom
Devonshire Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 3:48 PM
These are terrific, Tom!! You sure have a way with limericks. Think "Can't Sit" is my fave. Thanks for the laughs, Carolyn
Cunningham Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 4:02 PM
Thank you Carolyn, my muse is on fire at the moment. Glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Logan Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 3:43 PM
Four is not enough. Keep 'em comin', Tom.
Cunningham Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 3:47 PM
Thanks Jenna, im on a roll at the moment. Ill be sitting in the shade next week composing more, watch this space Tom
Dietrich Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 3:43 PM
good fun again. this time my fave is number two.
Cunningham Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 3:45 PM
Thank you Andrea, glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Michael Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 3:39 PM
Nice...I like the first one...All the best
Cunningham Avatar
September 1, 2020 at 3:44 PM
Thank you Arturo, Tom
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