Angst

Batteries flickering faint blue light- I'm dying a little more each day. Feel like I've offered far too much, hungry hands would rip my heart away ... Everybody in desperate need. Money. Time. Affirmation. Acceptance. I'd like them, too, but I don't ask for such things. Love ... mutual respect and desire with a woman to raise a family. That is my desire. But how can I ask for this - so much more than the rest? How could I ask her? How could I ask you, O Lord? Weary sigh. A spring bloom already fading. Drowning in the rains that could nurture me. So weak - and for one who wishes to be strong! I come to you even more broken than normal, Lord. Thank you for your graces that have shielded me from mortal sin. Do not let black despair draw me back into such things. You are with me always. I trust you. Help me to be kinder. Grant me your strength. And when you raise me up, keep my heart humble. 26-27 March 2024