And Then I Remember

I wake up in the middle of the night, and reach out to touch you but you are not there And then I remember, The pain returns as quickly as an express train racing out of a tunnel A quite cry escapes my lips a silent tear my eyes I will sleep no more tonight In the morning I stumble out of bed, not thinking I call your name And then I remember I go to the bathroom, no more the clean order of a woman’s touch But instead the chaotic disorder of the single man And then I remember At breakfast I automatically set two cups, milk in both, sweetener in one And then I remember For you it’s just another day but for me it’s as if I am trapped in a time warp I eat my breakfast as if in a trance And I taste nothing, I drink my tea and stare out of the window But I see nothing Except in the deepest corners of my mind You are still hear with me I can see your face and I can smell you perfume Your laughter fills my heart with joy And once again I look into your beautiful brown eyes And I see again the great love and a deep passion in your soul I reach out my hand to touch your cheek My fingers brush your dark silken hair You speak my name Suddenly I feel your soft touch on my arm And suddenly I am back and you are gone, And then I remember I must pull myself together I must try to go on They say time heels, they say the pain will subside They say stop thinking of yourself Think of your child Words are cheap when you don’t have to pay And then I remember She looks deep into my eyes, and I see her mother’s love I see her mother’s passion for life I reach out and touch her dark silken hair; And then she speaks my name, And then I remember Please god let me forget, just for a moment Just for a while Just let my child once again see me smile