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Poem

I wake up in the middle of the night, and reach out to touch you but you are not 
there
 And then I remember, 
The pain returns as quickly as an express train racing out of a tunnel
A quite cry escapes my lips a silent tear my eyes
 I will sleep no more tonight
In the morning I stumble out of bed, not thinking I call your name
And then I remember
I go to the bathroom, no more the clean order of a woman’s touch
But instead the chaotic disorder of the single man
And then I remember 
At breakfast I automatically set two cups, milk in both, sweetener in one
And then I remember
For you it’s just another day but for me it’s as if I am trapped in a time warp 
I eat my breakfast as if in a trance 
And I taste nothing, 
I drink my tea and stare out of the window
But I see nothing
 Except in the deepest corners of my mind
You are still hear with me 
I can see your face and I can smell you perfume
Your laughter fills my heart with joy
 And once again I look into your beautiful brown eyes
And I see again the great love and a deep passion in your soul
I reach out my hand to touch your cheek
My fingers brush your dark silken hair 
You speak my name
Suddenly I feel your soft touch on my arm 
And suddenly I am back and you are gone, 
And then I remember  
    I must pull myself together
 I must try to go on
They say time heels, they say the pain will subside
They say stop thinking of yourself
Think of your child
Words are cheap when you don’t have to pay 
And then I remember
She looks deep into my eyes, and I see her mother’s love
 I see her mother’s passion for life
I reach out and touch her dark silken hair;
 And then she speaks my name,
And then I remember 
Please god let me forget, just for a moment
Just for a while
Just let my child once again see me smile

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