And I Exhaled

I was so close to the sun, Tantalizing; ethereal- Warm rays rolling over my skin before- Sinking deep, A parasite rooting itself into my neck, Gentle caresses- Strangling- Choking-. Churning-, Inching closer- And it stopped. I felt air again, But my lungs had grown so used to the feeling- I gasped and grasped for air to receive so little in return; A fated reminder. My neck; freed, Yet I strained for air-, I learnt. To wrap my hands around my neck- To twist it (Just how he did)- To breathe in, And out, And in, And out. And when I walked, I stumbled; so far from the chain- The leash, I stumbled. I saw it everywhere. I saw it in how the leaves that were hoisted up by the wind (Which I craved dearly)- Flew, Being carried away by the gust- Just how those warm rays had, Rolled, rolled down my skin-, But the leaves drifted without worry; careless. I saw it in people holding hands- Hands that would surely grip, claw and seize- To sink deep- deep- and deeper still into that dripping, tensed palm-, Fingers that would tighten around; Nails to rip and to tear; A forefinger and thumb, To lift you so high; Only to fall- Fall- Fall. But soon my hands grew tired of grasping my neck, And my legs grew bruised from crawling. I no longer felt the air-, Climbing through a crushed windpipe, But instead a, Whirlwind. In and out- I breathed in and out-. In that crowded mall-, People walked past; oblivious- To the clean air-, In and out-, I breathed in and out in that crowded mall. I stood, staring into my palms- No longer stained with my sweat- And I breathed.