Jeffry Cohan | + Follow Poet |
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And Believe Me, That Ain'T the Half of It

NOTE TO ME RE THINGS SHE TOOK FROM ME:
My compassion-------My time-----My energy
The reason I woke up early just to be with her more hours
The belief that honesty and purity can exist in the union of two souls but only when 
both partners sang in pitch-perfect  harmony
She took my mind
The equations in my mind
The way she was always on my mind
She took my knowledge and used it until she needed a teacher no more

She took the soulfulness of every sweet word in a love song and turned them sour
She took away the way she’d laugh when I’d do or say something funny
She took the joyfulness out of fun and the happiness out of the fact that we’d finally 
found each other after so long a journey
She took away the mustard seed of faith I had that Jesus proclaimed is all we need
BUT ALL THESE THINGS ARE GONE FOR GOOD, 
YESTERDAY’S NEWS
ABOUT SINGING THE BLUES
SHE TOOK AWAY THE PRIDE I FELT WHEN I TAUGHT HER TO SADDLE A HORSE
BUT THE ONE THING SHE GAVE ME AND THEN TOOK AWAY  WAS SOMETHING I 
HADN’T HAD FOR THE PAST ¾  of MY LIFE AND SUDDENLY THAT TREASURE WAS 
SNATCHED AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE LOVERS CAN SAY A LOT OF THINGS THROUGH 
LIPS THAT LIE…BUT THE SINGLE MOST TREASURED THING SHE WALKED AWAY 
WHICH I LOST YEARS AGO WAS THE  ABILITY SHE RESURRECTED WHICH GAVE ME 
THE WAYS AND MEANS TO LAUGH, AND TO LAUGH WITH A HEART LIGHTENED BY 
THE WAY SHE SWORE WE WOULD BE TOGETHER AS LONG AS TIME AND HEALTH 
PERMITTED………..
AND LASTLY WHAT SHE TOOK AWAY WAS THAT WHICH I HADN’T EVER FELT 
BEFORE.BECAUSE  SHE ROBBED FROM THIS MAN , WHO, AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS OF 
INADEQUACY WAS NO LONGER A HINDERANCE BECAUSE SHE WAS HIS MOTIVATION 
THAT’S WHAT SHE TOOK AWAY FROM ME, 
A WOMAN WALKED AWAY WITH WONDER 
That’s what she took from me….© 2011...Phreepoetree

Copyright © Jeffry Cohan | Year Posted 2011

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Black Eyed Susan Date: 4/26/2011 6:59:00 AM I like your 3-4 th lines, about the harmony. I also think you have a few more good ones, but when it just looks a list, it loses my interest. I kept reading because it was yours, but otherwise, I probably wouldn't have. Maybe you could break it up into more verses? I also like your use of caps for important/powerful feelings, but it loses it's effectiveness when you do it line after line. Save it for the worst things that she did to you/took from you. Login to Reply