Anchors Aweigh

Anchors Aweigh... destination unknown for this Earthling stardate: February 26th, 2022 At sea since time immemorial I relish being alone upon oceanic expanse yours truly doth bemoan me gal Sal (one among numerous female confidantes), no matter, she easily mistaken as a crone magical powers keep her manning far aloft drone as surveillance hovers above me (to intercept encrypted communication maintained courtesy bluetooth earphone) the two of us sol survivors I feel like a foreigner since global thermonuclear war bombed webbed wide world into pulverized power vaguely similar landscape to age of Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble recurring memories redolent of yesteryear, whereby I groan though simple living such as me and the missus did Potschke coaxing homegrown organic fruits and vegetables, though, I attest we did get violently angry with each other and unwittingly cross interzone where brickbats exchanged, especially after she discovered an illicit extramarital affair between myself and Joan since kindergarten her I known. Weather beaten cap'n, and watertight bewitched craft time tested since maiden voyage (circumnavigating the globe back in the day of my youth), I ranked tough as a pitbull, when severely pitted against raw elements of swiftly tailored, harried stylish nature against leathery faced reptilian skin, hard drinking (actually as corked poetic convenience - vermouth arbitrary bottle of choice if for no other reason, than to rhyme with the above line), and tobacco spitting, while colorfully swearing as an uncouth Furies (of Agamemnon) fighting (tooth and nail) Pirate, where rickets, scurvy, and thrice unconscious, currently ample proof could not forsooth bring me to Davy Jones's locker, cuz I never wanna get relegated to an underwater whale schooled booth, this raconteur can nonchalantly, glibly, and blithely attest, with braggadocio, despite no warm welcome will ever greet mine tinnitus pained ears, I can plainly imagine acrimonious retort upon me behest his far more'n lifetime bobbing (like a sponge) square pants float buoyed atop crest longing e'en for (carping, caviling, hen pecking, or shrewish) wife.