Home » Poems » Valsa George » An Unnamed Pain

An Unnamed Pain

A dull mist hangs in the air There lingers a sallow gloom Though it had rained sometime ago Dark clouds gather once more in the sky As if another shower could be expected Leaves shed drops of tears Time moves at snail’s pace There is a dull languor Just like the soggy surroundings In the dank confines of her soul, An unknown pain seeks redemption. A deep sadness returns again and again Pervading and sturating her soul Tearing her apart, shaking her from head to foot She doesn’t know why she feels like a mariner Drifting far away from the port Or is she a sinking ship? All she hears is the hiss of the cauldron Burning and boiling within her As thoughts bleed in silence! From a dull cinder, there grew a fire And now into a conflagration spread, Consuming her inch by inch She wants an instant relief Or else her heart would burst ________________________________ May. 25.2022 Submitted for 2022 Marathon Mile .11.Poetry Contest Sponsored by Mark Toney Sentimentality Poetry Contest Sponsor – Julia Ward

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Hilo Poet

Date: 6/3/2022 6:40:00 PM

Captive penning of the subject matter, Valsa, intensely riveting portrayal. All the best my friend, Aloha~William

Bill Baker

Date: 5/31/2022 8:26:00 AM

A desperate struggle to find meaning is the unknown. A longing for understanding of the images of her thoughts or dreams. I love this description of her feelings. Eloquent poem, Valsa. Smiles ~ Blessings Bill

Sotto Poet

Date: 5/27/2022 8:59:00 AM

Valsa, this is a beautiful poem that best expresses the topic. She seems unaware of the source of her sailor-like feelings. Unmoored and directionless Thoughts evaporate in the void of stillness. The culmination.

John Watt

Date: 5/26/2022 4:57:00 PM

Valsa, your imagery from nature sets the tone so well for the melancholy feelings depicted... the gloomy weather, the "Leaves shed drops of tears", the time moving like a snail. The mariner separated from port is such a powerful metaphor for lonely isolation. Wonderful writing, my friend ~ John

Gershon Wolf

Date: 5/25/2022 8:15:00 PM

'a mariner drifting far away from port' - so descriptive; such an unsettling feeling. Kudos, Valsa!

Rico Leffanta

Date: 5/25/2022 10:55:00 AM

Well thought and done! Aloha!

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 5/25/2022 8:10:00 AM

This is sagely done "In the dank confines of her soul, An unknown pain seeks redemption. She doesn’t know why she feels a mariner Drifting far away from the port" Wow!

Vijay Pandit

Date: 5/25/2022 5:22:00 AM

A poignant write apt for theme, Valsa:---She doesn’t know why she feels a mariner Drifting far away from the port Silence burns inside And thoughts bleed in silence!... essence of it all.