An Ode to My See-Through Mind

My head has always been made of glass, and inside it lives a faint idea of who I am. She used to be a silhouette, but even then she wasn’t very defined. In eighth grade, I believed that she lived in the shadows, because showing herself felt heavier than living in the trenches of our own mind. In a way, she was right. I was told that the time would come when I’d figure out who I was— but what use is saying “everything happens for a reason” if it only makes me sad? I started to write in my mirror: words like “I’m funny, I’m thoughtful, and I’m kind.” And I waited for a big moment, when I’d realize that I was right. Then came social media. It made me feel like people could look into my seemingly see-through mind through a cracked lens and endless filters. I thought maybe they could help me figure out who I was, but no flashy moment ever arrived. It wasn’t until my friend thanked me for giving her a birthday gift and studying for a class I didn’t take just to help her understand that I got home to my dusty shelf and whispered into an empty room while looking my mirror in the eye “Maybe I wasn’t wrong after all”