An Ocean of My Love

It hurt that night. Not the night it should have hurt, When those pills were scattered across your bathroom floor No, it didn’t hurt then I just stared out my window at your house, which happened to only be a block away, so lucky we were to live so close, but so, so unfortunate I stared at the hypnotic flashing red and blue lights. I heard them as they arrived late in the night, and I watched them leave early in the morning Only a single tear slipped that night. And I never moved from my window Not even for a second That’s not the night it hurt, not then but on a random Tuesday night, when my family wasn’t home and I didn’t have anything to distract myself with That's when it hit me. That’s when it hit me and I hit the floor with how fast and how heavy the emotions got. Drowned by grief, stuck on the ground as if waves were pushing me under. A lot more than a single tear slipped out that day. A whole ocean did- an ocean of my grief, an ocean of my love Oh, it feels so empty here, why is grief so lonely? Is there no hand to hold? It didn't hurt the night it should have, but god it hurt just as much