Amnesty

When someone that you love dies Its easy to blame yourself for their death Even if you were nowhere around when they died Its easy to find something in the past some wrong that you did to blame yourself The police report read that he lost control of his car And you remember when he asked you for money for tires You said no because you felt this was another money game trick But when you offered your road assistance card You hope that he would use it Children dressing up and scaring one another Halloween orange pumpkins lost a lot of meaning in the early years. And the guilt that you bore Weigh heavy like a noose on your neck Time past and every year on his death anniversary you ask for forgive And even when you forgive yourself it was not enough A judge and jury conviction of innocent would not have been have satisfied you But the red fox forgave you Red his favorite color of his football jersey The stare down was unforgettable Looking directly at you and saying why Do you play this blame game His Spirit shape-shift inside the fox His trickster and playfulness a strong indication that if might be him His Spirit whispering words to you as you cleaned the dust of decades off his picture that sat in a place of pride on the day that he died The words of amnesty were spoken The voice that said the car did not kill me Drugs and alcohol did