America Sucks Less

This country’s sure got problems Corruption, crime, and drugs. And though we try to fix the world The world just hates our guts. But for all our woes and troubles I still love the US ‘Cause compared to the rest of the world America sucks less They call us all polluters With our Hummer SUV’s But in China you can taste the air And it taste like iPhone 3’s You may hate our politicians And protest what they say But think about how much it sucks To be Russian and gay Our congress can’t do anything Our senators are goons But at least they were elected And their name’s not Kim Jong–un Japan makes better cars than us Games and cartoon shows But I saw The Cove on Netflix huh And that was pretty messed up, bro America, I love you, out of necessity You’re not too hot and not too cold And mostly not diseased Compared to the alternative You’re probably the best ‘Cause the whole world sucks But America sure sucks less Our economy is tanking But we’re not as bad as Greece Our fast food is disgusting But Italy has maggot cheese The NSA is spying on Our emails and phone calls But good luck finding WiFi In some village in Nepal Brazil is full of riots Australia’s full of snakes Mexico’s got cartels And their water makes you crap for days Dubai is just Las Vegas Without alcohol or fun And Africa’s in a post-colonial tailspin Of genocide and oppression I am so sorry for everything you guys have to deal with....Anyways, America, I love you Though you’re run by old white men Republicans are a-holes But at least they’re not the French We’d probably get a solid B If they gave the world a test ‘Cause the whole world sucks But America sure sucksless America, I love you For your lack of murder squads Your working indoor plumbing And your mostly valid laws In a world of mostly crap America stinks the best Except for maybe Canada You guys have a pretty good thing going ‘Cause the whole world sucks But America sure sucks less