Always Never

How can it be history, when the pain leaves me breathless? Iron past that wrings my lungs soaked heavy in sorrow until that mysterious liquid escapes from my eyes. How can it be past, when the darkness becomes my shadow? Harassing smiles and reminding pleasure that there is no vacancy within. How can it be over when I am covered in those moments? Microwaving a frozen dinner, collapsing on the floor with grief my cat a solitary witness to this complexity of living.