Alone In My Head

I wish i was at home in my bed But i'm stuck out in the cold and alone in my head I Hate this place No matter what turn I take, i'm forced to relive every mistake I've made People can't get past my wall, and I can't escape the gate I'm protected from the world so much that I'm in danger from myself Sometimes I feel like telling the whole world to suck it, but that's a bit below the belt I've been numb for a long time, but now I'm starting to feel this I go from needing a hug to needing time alone real quick Girls pass by, and I can't help but to take a look Trying to write a new chapter when the page is stuck I can't start a new relationship if my mind's on her a poet who writes over 30 poems a day, but sometimes I can't find the words I stay to myself, I don't speak much in person I gave them the real me, and they tried to adjust the version They wanted me to do this, And to not act like that I was bullied and mocked, but I was in the wrong cause I chose to fight back Just cause I self-harmed and was abandoned by my family, does that make me less beautiful? They told me I need to be less weird, so I chose to be more unusual I've always struggled to shed tears, maybe I'll learn to cry in time I just hope I live long enough to see Meg free from her pain, even if that means I die with mine She's not even my girl yet, but nothing has made me happier than her smile does We're both scared due to our previous stories in love Let's just see how things plan out When she needs me, I'll put my hand out Pull her up, and carry her to the finish line Isn't it funny, I can be strong for others, but I feel weak in my mind? I'm just trying to Escape hell to find where heaven starts Every girl I meet is like, well Alex is funny, but he's not Kevin Hart He's charming and attractive But he's not David Beckham or Brad Pitt Yeah Alex is good in bed, but there's always better Plus he's bipolar so it's a long road if we stay together He's got a few good traits, but more flaws Yeah Alex has a great smile, but he's got too many scars Plus take a look at his past efforts He's had too many girls on his track record He always seems to be picking up girls every time he's going out Which means he's probably got kids he doesn't even know about One night stand, after one night stand, is he even capable of commitment This is all I hear from girls, so I stick to fishing They say there's plenty more in the sea But if Meg isn't the girl I end up with, I'd rather be alone, just my pen and me I'll lie in my bed of mistakes, while I lay alone in my bed I need some company, I'm tired of being alone in my head