Alone

So many friends and family Yet I’m so lonely and alone No one to reach out and talk to All by myself left to condone How did I let this happen again? Why didn’t I see it from a mile away? How could I allow the trap to be set? Knowing my past and foolish ways I guess what he said is the truth And I am completely truly insane Just look at the foolish choices I’ve made I just can’t help not to refrain I’m attracted to conflict and sickly to pain When will the violence stop; how will I end the disdain Measly all I ask for is one complete day Just one day where my life is not in disarray I sugarcoat my troubles and most of all my despair Dwelling in my own misery; not willing or able to share So here I sit in solitude trying to work my troubles out Conversing with my thought process; always a second doubt It’s hard to get good advice from an unstable mind Not knowing if I’m right or wrong; fearful of what I’ll find How can I maintain this relationship when only one will communicate? Finding it harder not to take the easy way out; Although the thought is becoming one of my traits I don’t feel I’m evil, though maybe I’ve been wrong all along I do want to be normal, but I first need to become strong So here I sit in solitude with this pen and paper in hand They’ve now become my new best-friend and always understand