Francis J Grasso Poet Prose

Alone

When I was alone
When I was very young
Before the cousins and friends,
And siblings
I was alone

Aunt Lucy carried me upstairs
The hallway was cold and dark
I had no emotion
She talked about the bogeyman
And how we had to hurry
I said, who is the bogeyman

Grandpa held me above the toilet
Bobbing me gently up and down
Grandma was turning the water faucet on and off
She said, go like this, Frankie
He said, phish phish, phish phish
 
The light turned red
The car slowed gently and came to a stop
Mom's right arm pressed against my chest
Pinning me in place as I stood upright on the passenger seat
No need for that, I thought

The basement was damp and dark
It stood in front of me
Eye to eye
The soiled wooden bars
A shield from the darting beak
Uncle Dan said Thanksgiving was coming
And it would be our dinner

Aunt Louisa put two thick books on the chair
Then sat me on them so I could eat at the table
We had lunch together, the two of us
Then she gave me three small garden tools
A rake, a shovel, and a hoe
Red, blue, and yellow
In the garden, she showed me how to use them

She carried me up a long flight of stairs
We were going to see her brand new granddaughter
Sleeping in her crib
Her cheeks were rosie red
She said she was going to call her Cherry Pie

There was a streetcar stop at the end of the street
I could see them coming
Walking quickly
Their arms stretched out
I ran towards them as fast as I could
They were coming home from work

Aunt Marie held me comfortably in her arms
I sat on her forearm and hugged her neck
The living room was lit with just the light from a single large window
She showed me two photographs framed in gold and covered with glass
Two men, soldiers in uniform
Which one is your father, she said

I smelled onion and mustard
It steamed as she carried it toward the bedroom
My father was home from Europe
For two years afterward, he battled bronchitis
He won that battle, too
 
I saw the green fumes wafting down through the mask
I struggled to breathe and tried to push it away
I heard someone say
Doctor, doctor, he’s got me
I looked down and saw them all there
In their pale green gowns
Gathered around the table
The room spun and then went dark
When I awoke, the pain was gone

I stood at the end of the driveway and waited
The air was cool
I wasn’t allowed inside the house
It was a wake, and my grandmother was dead

I learned to play the trumpet
To read the music and play
Jujuan was a magnificent musician
I learned quickly, and I played well
I saw her mock the songs I had played
I never played again

No puppies allowed
He was all black
He stayed for a few days, and then he was gone
I can’t remember his name

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