Allowed Him No Latitude

ALLOWED HIM NO LATITUDE Andy, professional cartographer, adored his maps, Valued them more than anything perhaps As any cartographer would As all cartographers should - Lovingly drawing his Italy, boot-like, Old outlines of the then Third Reich, And his Mississippi River with every meander, And every place he ever could wander . But his rival cartographer Giovanni After penciling in the River Suwannee Called on Andy, his details to consult. Andy was affronted and angered at the insult. Freely sharing his geographical skills Was not the best way of paying his bills. Andy refused to show Giovanni his map The latter said - well ok, your maps are just crap! Over Turkey’s Cape Helles they struggled and fought As any zealous cartographers ought And Andy shoved the Alaska Panhandle Up Giovanni’s nose, who then began to manhandle The whole of Siberia and some of Iberia And the Bay of Bengal over Andy, who was wearier. Getting tired, and in defence of his maps Andy, feeling he was close to collapse, Grabbed Europe and wrapped it round the neck Of Gio, who soon choked and died, with the Czech Republic and parts of the Isle of Belmullet Stopping the airflow in his gullet. Then poor Andy, clutching maps of the Slavic Race Also dropped dead, but with a smile on his face. Two happy men who gave their all For the Suwannee River and the Bay of Bengal. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Entered in Natalie The Rogue Rhymer’s Contest : Die A 'Fun' Death