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Allowed Him No Latitude

ALLOWED    HIM    NO   LATITUDE


Andy, professional cartographer, adored his maps,
Valued them more than anything perhaps
As any cartographer would
As  all cartographers should  -
Lovingly drawing his Italy,  boot-like, 
Old outlines of the then Third Reich,
And his Mississippi River with every meander,
And every place he ever  could wander .
But his rival  cartographer Giovanni
After  penciling in the River Suwannee
Called on Andy, his  details  to consult.
Andy was affronted and angered at the insult.
Freely sharing his geographical skills 
Was not  the best way of paying his bills.
Andy refused to show Giovanni  his map
The latter said -  well ok, your maps are just crap!
Over Turkey’s Cape Helles they struggled and fought 
As any zealous cartographers ought
And Andy shoved the Alaska Panhandle 
Up Giovanni’s nose, who then began to manhandle
The whole of Siberia and some of Iberia
And the Bay of Bengal over Andy, who was wearier. 
Getting tired, and in defence of his maps
Andy,  feeling he  was close to collapse,
Grabbed Europe and wrapped it round the neck
Of Gio, who soon choked and died, with the Czech
Republic   and parts of the Isle of Belmullet
Stopping the airflow in his gullet.
Then poor Andy, clutching  maps of the Slavic Race
Also dropped dead, but  with a smile on his face.
Two happy men  who gave their all
For the Suwannee River and the Bay of Bengal.

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Entered in Natalie The Rogue Rhymer’s  Contest  :  Die A 'Fun' Death

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