all over again

i step out of the shower i let the steam moisten my skin once more, my wet foot steps pitter patter on the cold bathroom floor, only once will i ever feel this clean i stepped into the mirrors view, no longer scared to hold my gaze at my body this was me, why shouldnt i look at myself? my eyes glare into my body like it was something they shouldnt have seen, i felt terrified, i scratched at my skin uncomfortably i grabbed my clothes and put them on, only to stare back at the mirror, this reflection was nicer, well put together, and covered. nobody could harm me like this, not anymore. my mind was now foggy, and clouded, instead of now feeling amazing, i felt disgust, i wanted to sob. the mirror steamed up once again, i quickly wiped it off i held back the tears, only to feel a lump growing in my throat, the terror and worry crept back into my mind. because even though i had just took a shower, i felt so dirty, all over again.