All About Anger
If you are angry with me
Or with anyone or everyone
For some (in-)explicable reasons,
Then, this poem is meant for you!
My basic hypothesis:
In a moment of anger
There will be choice—almost always.
Choose the best.
A taxonomy of anger: geriatric, gender-specific,
Gender-neutral, matured (or immature), kid stuff, etc.
Preparedness: Homework helps as always.
Now, to all angry young wo/men.
Your attention please:
Anger, if legitimate, is something
Not to be controlled,
Only to be guided, sustained,
Timed and acted upon:
Turn anger into assertiveness.
If it is collective anger, the same steps
May bring about a radical change.
Anger, if raw and impulsive, is
A weakness rather than strength.
Fitful anger only leads to fits!
If raw anger could be a solution—
And seeing that there is plenty around—
There should be no problems in the world!
Anger is characteristic of youth.
Almost all senior citizens had
The same syndrome—at your age!
They should know better.
Now, in a few lines, let me
Summarize (married) men
And summarily dismiss them.
Most spouses know how to defuse:
A disarming smile, a soothing touch,
A sweet word—that’s all.
If it doesn’t click, blackmail!
When a woman is angry,
Never try to belittle her emotion—
By courtesy of John Gray:
Apologize whether you are
Responsible or irresponsible!
If someone else is the cause,
Then pull a long face
And just listen.
A gentle touch (a matter of tact),
Uttering her name: “Now then, so and so…,”
Or a mumble, “Oh dear!”
Or just an appropriate click (of the tongue)
Plus a spot of coffee, bought or fixed—
Much of her anger will be gone.
If it is your girlfriend, spouse or fiancée,
Try a little gift, too.
If anger persists, pray!
No kid stuff!
If we try to get even with a kid,
We should end up feeling odd.
If the kids get excited,
Why reciprocate?
Children, like chimps,
Tend to copy our behavior—(un-)fortunately.
Beware: Kids, when angry, are always prepared
For the worst—as you and I are not!
If grey-headed – dyed or not yet dead –
Or baldheaded people get angry,
Remember Shakespeare:
Old [wo]men are babes again.
Just flatter (in a loud voice, if necessary):
“Are you seventy? I don’t believe it!”
“With your wisdom and experience…”
“It was the best of times in your days.”
But take care to check your ironic smile.
Humour or music defuses their anger—
If they are not hard of hearing!
Well, these are my (hasty) generalizations.
And all generalizations are false!
— Ram, R. V.
Copyright © Ram R. V. | Year Posted 2017
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