Alcoholism

Anger, guilt and pain, those are the only emotions I feel; my skin crawls whenever my mind flashes those painful memories that I try my best to forget. Mornings are normal; I do my every day chores like clock-work. The daily grind embeds emotions long since forgotten; their existence remains a definition in a dictionary. Night slowly comes and everything changes into chaos. The chime of bottles that I hide suddenly calls to me and I succumb to its dark grasp; its claws sink deep into my heart. Sadly, I do not listen to the angel upon my shoulder that tries so desperately to guide me into the light. As the liquid drowns my senses the anger is released causing my normal self to transform into a monster that no-one knows. Pain fuels my outbursts against whoever is present regardless of who it is I cause hurt and unseen fear that they try to hide in a futile attempt to protect themselves. The bottles dwindle but my anger only increases; all those years of hiding it has created me into a ticking time-bomb that no-one wants to be near. The angel upon my shoulder continues to provide guidance but the liquid I have consumed has caused its voice to become a whisper. Many things I have lost over the years but I fruitlessly deny my own faults. Will I ever be able to resist reaching for the bottle? I do not know but the pain, fear and loss I can no longer endure. Maybe one day I will say those infamous words and the angel upon my shoulder will guide me towards the light of inner peace and harmony.