Alanna Bug

The sun shines but darkness is all I see. Nothings been right since the day you left me. I stay numb so I don't have to feel. Every second hits me that this is real. I've searched for genies one wish will do. I just want one more day with you. Not one second would I waste showing you I care. No one gave us warning and this is so unfair. I was suppose to be first as your mom we knew. We shared a heart beat the 9 months I carried you. 18 yrs I wanted more time. I hear you voice I look but never find. How do I go on when it hurts just to breathe. Your not only what I wanted your someone that I need. Alanna I'm scared every night that I sleep. The nightmare of you leaving becomes my every dream. 2 and a 1/2 months and I've hurt everyday. When it comes to getting close to me I just push them all away. They say just remember she's in a better place. But I miss you baby your laugh your face. Your sisters need you just as I do. How do we do this , a life without you. I pray that your happy and finally free. And now my baby who watches over me.