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Ahoy - A Nautical Nightmare

[Written as a sort of sea shanty style thing-a-me-Bob. Tin Fish = Torpedo] When the tin fish hit me starboard I was thrown into the sea I sank down to the ocean bed for all eternity I met a man called Davy Jones who handed me a key I opened up his locker just to see what I might see But then I sensed my captain who came drifting up to me He gazed upon the locker with some curiosity I looked into the locker and was quite surprised to see A brandy for my captain and another one for me We drank the brandy down and then my captain looked at me He said do you feel squiffy and I said, ‘Decidedly’ I sprouted extra legs and then I hollered frantically It seems that Davy Jones has made an octopus of me But then I saw a mermaid and she winked suggestively Strangely she was right there where the captain used to be And then it dawned upon me that the mermaid once was he The captain sure was pretty now, but too much man for me He still had all his ‘tackle’ which was pointing straight at me I quickly crossed my legs - all eight - but then I couldn’t flee The captains mast was raised and he intended it for me I tried to swim for freedom as I screamed hysterically And then I felt my shoulder being shaken frantically The naval doctor said I wasn't drowning in the sea The medic blamed my diet and he made me this decree Don’t have cheese for supper or much later than your tea

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




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Date: 6/15/2022 9:25:00 AM
Yes cheese is meant to give you nightmares at night but in hospital way after supper at 5.00 in the evening, they normally give you two tiny cheese sandwiches with either coffee or tea, maybe that way they get to keep you longer as a patient, because of how you feel! Fun write Terry, hugs, blessings, Jennifer
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Terry Flood
Date: 6/15/2022 12:16:00 PM
Thanks, Jennifer. As I told Tom, this was never meant to be a little risqué but, hey… sometimes that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Terry
Date: 6/9/2022 1:41:00 PM
lol! somehow this had me thinking of Octopussy... :)
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Terry Flood
Date: 6/9/2022 2:11:00 PM
Thanks, Susan. Is that the movie in which James Bond turned into octopus ;-) Terry
Date: 6/8/2022 2:02:00 PM
Lol, hope the kids are in bed. Tom
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Terry Flood
Date: 6/8/2022 5:15:00 PM
Thanks, Tom. Hope you enjoyed your time away… hope it wasn’t at her majesty’s leisure. ;-) Terry
Date: 6/8/2022 1:00:00 PM
This is so terrific, and it reads effortlessly. Am I glad I read it? Hi ho, decidedly!
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Terry Flood
Date: 6/8/2022 5:14:00 PM
Thanks Jeff. Really pleased you enjoyed. Terry
Date: 6/8/2022 12:48:00 PM
Oh, Terry, this is absolutely hilarious! I can just imagine you crossing all your legs and trying to scamper away in a cloud of black ink.
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Terry Flood
Date: 6/8/2022 12:55:00 PM
Glad you enjoyed, Milt. Actually started off all innocent but it kinda went off at a tangent. Terry