Emile Pinet Poet Free verse

Afraid To Let Go

As the day shut down, a scarlet sun bled:
and I drank in the essence of the moment.
Seeing the night unfold, touched me:
and my soul released a tear; I'd held captive in my heart.
In the hospital room, I sat beside my mother;
and gently held her hand.
A mere shell of the vibrant woman I loved,
Mom was dying; I couldn't deny that fact,
My humanity competed with my selfishness:
I desperately wanted her to live,
but I knew that her time had come.
Her hand squeezed mine, ever so softly,
and my heart shattered into a thousand pieces.
I was drowning in a sea of tears,
for her heart was barely beating
as I held her hand: afraid to let go.
My head was swimming!
Tripping over my emotions, I couldn't find balance;
numb to all but my hurt.
To manage her pain, she was placed on a morphine drip.
And drip by drip, I felt her life force weakening.
I wanted to rip that needle out!
My conflicted heart was sobbing,
not wanting her to suffer, yet not wanting her to die.
But I steadied myself, held her hand,
and watched her peacefully depart this life.
I so wanted someone to blame
that when Death came, I blamed myself;
and forgave myself, simultaneously.
I looked upon her face for the last time;
made my peace with God:
and kissed my Mom goodbye.

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Carol Mitra March 27, 2021 at 11:59 PM Emile...words fail me...I can almost feel these strong emotions....especially when my mom passed on...Hugs and much love to you. Emile Pinet March 28, 2021 at 8:51 AM Thanks Carol, you have a compassionate heart my friend, Emile.

Constance La France March 27, 2021 at 4:49 PM Emile, congratulations on your win in my challenge, A Meaning Poem, and that is exactly what you gave me, your poem truly touched my heart, so sorry for your loss, well done _Constance Emile Pinet March 28, 2021 at 8:54 AM Thanks Constance, I always find inspiration in your contest , I appreciate your comments my friend

Susan Ashley June 11, 2019 at 7:54 PM Your poem is such a gripping personal and poignant portrayal of your feelings surrounding the death of your beloved mother; 'And when death finally came, I blamed myself and forgave myself, simultaneously.' The potency of that line just choked me up. A very emotional piece, Emile, that is deeply affecting. Congratulations on your excellent win. warmest wishes always, my friend.. ~Susan Emile Pinet June 12, 2019 at 6:28 AM Thank you so much Susan, your comments are heartfelt and most welcomed and appreciated, Emile.

Line Gauthier June 7, 2019 at 11:17 PM So touching. Back with well deserved congrats on your podium finish, Emile. Emile Pinet June 12, 2019 at 6:27 AM Thank you so much Line, your comments are most welcome and appreciated, Emile.

Line Gauthier May 23, 2018 at 1:42 PM Amazing poem, Emile. Powerful write of deep emotion. Emile Pinet June 7, 2019 at 10:15 PM Thank you so much Line, your comments are most welcome and appreciated, Emile.

Darci Hopkins May 3, 2017 at 9:48 AM you allow the readers to share your pain, to feel it with you, although we can't understand the pain you went through. my best friend, 16, recently lost her mom... is it okay with you if i give her this poem? i will credit you as the author. <3 ~you are beautiful Emile Pinet May 3, 2017 at 11:38 AM Thanks Darci, I would be honored for you to share my poem with your friend... may she get some comfort from it, Emile.

Reason A. Poteet April 2, 2017 at 8:35 PM full of emotion, your piece touches my soul my mom lingered for two weeks in and out of a coma like state. It was hard but we have to let them go when it is time. Emile Pinet April 2, 2017 at 9:35 PM Thank you so much, your comments are most welcome and appreciated, Emile.

Agnes Krampe April 2, 2017 at 10:16 AM I am so sorry for your loss, Emile. Your moving poem is a great tribute to the love you have for your mother. I don't think anyone is ever prepared for this. You rendered pain into beauty with your writing. Emile Pinet April 2, 2017 at 11:13 AM Thanks so much for your compassionate comments Agnes, you have touched my heart, I appreciate it, Emile.

Doug Vinson April 1, 2017 at 11:05 AM This is beautiful, Emile, and large with truth, with a lot of yourself and things that are part of all of us. Right away you get to a very important aspect: "my mind embraced the essence of the moment..." - Yes, that is really it. And as you illustrate, we may want to rebel against it, even if honest acceptance is the best course. Your poem truly speaks to us all. Death has mostly stayed away from me thus far, but I know it's always there, vigilant and waiting. Emile Pinet April 1, 2017 at 12:04 PM Thanks Doug, your words have touched my heat, Emile.

Andrea Dietrich April 1, 2017 at 10:29 AM this is heart breaking, Emile. SO sad and yet the ending is as it should be! We both know it is NOT the last kiss for your mother! Emile Pinet April 1, 2017 at 12:05 PM Thank you Andrea, you have a compassionate heart my friend, Emile.

Gary Bateman April 1, 2017 at 9:32 AM Hello Emile, I'm very sorry for your loss!! This is truly a very moving and heartfelt verse concerning your mother. Your emotion, compassion, sorrow, and love are felt by the reader all throughout the verses. I experienced a similar thing with the passing of both of my parents some years ago. It's always difficult and never pleasant. But your love, thoughts, and memories of your mother will be with you the rest of your life. She will live-on every time you think about her. God Bless. Gary Emile Pinet April 1, 2017 at 9:54 AM Thanks so much for your compassionate comments Gary, I appreciate it, Emile.

Heidi Sands April 1, 2017 at 7:51 AM Emile this is an excellent moving poem with genuine feelings so well expressed. Deeply written from your heart and intensely sad. I can feel the love and the loss. Thank you for sharing. God Bless you. Emile Pinet April 1, 2017 at 9:03 AM Thank you Heidi, your compassionate comments are most welcome, and appreciated. Emile.

Maureen McGreavy Pigeon Tart April 1, 2017 at 5:08 AM A beautiful share Emile. Thank you and bless you and love and hugs your way. mo Emile Pinet April 1, 2017 at 9:01 AM Thanks Maureen, your comments are most welcome and appreciated, Emile.

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri April 1, 2017 at 1:44 AM Oh aww such a touching heartwarming sentimental poem rendered in awesome freeverse. I appreciate when men can be emotional wow. And yes it's hard to let go of loved ones ESP mothers even if they are going onto heaven. U made peace with God and He and mom are watching over you . Kudos for this beautiful memorial poem. And thanxx for Cmt. Emile Pinet April 1, 2017 at 9:00 AM Thanks so much for your compassionate comments, I appreciate it, Emile.

Chris Green March 31, 2017 at 8:27 PM Wow Emile, this one really pulled at my heart. I felt tears forming in my eyes, this was so sad. The more I think about this, the more the emotions of this piece affect me. This is very deep and filled with love...love. Emile Pinet March 31, 2017 at 9:25 PM Thank you for your warm comments Chris, they prove to me that you my friend have a good heart. Emile.