Afraid of the Dark

Afraid of the dark,I am you see,
For when I was little someone raped me.
Those fears and terrors still fill my heart,
afraid my mind is being torn apart.
I cannot see when all is dark black,
who is this with me,caught in the sack?
Please leave me be,do me no more harm,
it's been years and still there are tears.
All of my nights I run and I hide.
Deep in my mind a safe place to be,
no one can touch me,no one you see.
Not even life's worst misery.
I must keep running,it must not end,
must keep going,don't let it blend.
Eye's of tears,heart and mind full of fears,
It's been painful to many years.
My innocence stolen,
my joy taken away,
Please help me Lord,
Please help me I pray!
I am safe with my loved ones,
under the moon,because of God's son.
Still unaware of peace in my bed,
I feel afraid,the night I dread.
Hands tremble,body curled up,
mind is racing super speed,
I want to be loved,I feel the need!
Please don't hurt me like those nasty men did,
I hated them,God willing,he they will rid!
No place to turn,no place to run,
hiding and fighting,i'm only one.
Such wretched memories still haunt me each day,
please go away,
never to stay in a sane mind,
I need to relax,need to unwind.
Nobody knows the horror I've lived,
don't understand?
Tell me what gives?
I feel alone in my own world small,
like curling up into a small ball.
Somebody help me,
I can't do it alone.
I'm tired of running from all my fears,
tired of pain,tired of tears.
Tired of dying inside,through out the years.
Help me to live in a new way,
to live for tomorrow,and also today.
Help bring peace back into my mind,
Please help me ,please be kind.
But who do I turn to,who do I trust?
 I've been hurt by many!
Is there anyone,not one,not any?
I'm alone in my world of fear,
don't get to close,you may shed a tear.
Get to know me and all of my pain,
no wonder i'm mental,a little insane.
To much to lose,and much more to gain.
In a world full of pain and sorrow,
I can only hope and pray for tomorrow.
My dreams are real,it happened again,and once more,
please make it stop,,
I can't handle no more!
Dreams remind me every day,
somewhere,somehow,
theres got to be a way,
for peace of mind and a better day.
Please,please,I beg and I pray.

Dedicated to all those who have ever been a victim like me,
Have faith,God will make a way!
Copyright © | Year Posted 2006

Poem

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Das Avatar
January 30, 2010 at 11:02 AM
Excellent. Really so much of ail n the way you described the survival is such a bravery act. you deserve more to write. Will be waiting for more updates. Love Swairik
Lucas Avatar
November 15, 2008 at 1:30 PM
WOW!! Like Vince said, really courageous write. I feel your sadness and pain bursting through the words. May God not only grant you peace, but also grant your writing the praise and affirmation that it clearly deserves! Wood
Suzadail Jr. Avatar
November 13, 2008 at 7:33 AM
Hi Susan, I commented on this before. A courageous write. so many victims keep it to themselves and go through tremendous hardships because of it. Congratulations on your poem being featured. Keep believing in yourself. God Bless. Vince
Moin Avatar
November 12, 2008 at 5:55 PM
Your poem is full of gloom and sadness. You have drawn a perfect picture of horrible experience you had. If the dreadful animals of the society knew what their lust was doing to an innocent life such episodes wouldn't happen. May God grant you peace. -Fareeda
Memis Avatar
November 12, 2008 at 7:00 AM
I truly believe that what goes around comes around, you may not see it but have faith that they will end up suffering to. this is great poetry written with honesty and passion, i take my hat off to you.
Mason Avatar
November 11, 2008 at 7:56 PM
I used to belong to a group called V.O.I.C.E.S. which stands for Victims Of Incest Can Emerge Survivors ... but it was really for any kind of child trauma. If there isn't such a group in your area you could start one ... its amazing how many survivors are here!! Support groups are wonderful and God has blessed you with a Voice here at PoetrySoup!! Thank you for your powerful words!
Winter Avatar
November 10, 2008 at 8:23 AM
So heartbreaking to read, and so sorry for all you have been through. Aside from your ever important faith, there is help and support out there if you need it. Congratulations on an amazing featured write. Good luck. Love, Shar
Brown Avatar
November 10, 2008 at 4:12 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved poem being featured this week.Love, Carol
Tavera Avatar
November 9, 2008 at 5:21 PM
very well expressed. keep it up
 Avatar
November 9, 2008 at 3:53 PM
The effects of abuse of all kinds often last a lifetime as you so aptly portray. With God one can adjust and cope but still the scars remain. Love the last line here. Keep the faith. Congratulations on having your poem featured. May God grant you healing. Karen
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