Advice To Harvard Applicants

Advice to Harvard Students. if you pour boiling oil on your babies head wait until the oil price has gone down. if you undress in a public toilet you may meet Piers Morgan or the police may join in. if you steal a computer you'll have to take it back in the morning for a Windows technology update. if you want to attack an athiest, don't worry. He'll tell the police you don't exist. if you decide to block the sidewalk remember hookers, perverts and Jeremy Clarkson have a right to walk on it too. if you are arrested by an FBI agent refuse to tell him where Virginia is. if you climb up Big Ben to check your watch, remember it's being repaired. if you take a vacation in Saudi Arabia don't forget to take your own chain saw. if you cross out the Samaritans telephone number in the directory insert your own number instead. if you meet a nudist in the street don't park your bike between his buttocks. if you give an intellectual an I Q test use a chimp as a control group. if you meet President Trump don't hold up a placard saying serial killers begin here. if you find an open coffin who would you like to see in it? Boris Karloff or Boris Johnson.