Earl Schumacker Poet Didactic

Advice For Women Regarding Men

Advice For Women Regarding Men

Check your man to see if he has teeth
If he has more than one and lots of money
He’s the one
The same goes for hair
If he has one strand, he is your man, so reel him in 
A solid posterior and nice biceps are good for exercise and sex
The best thing about a man is not his size
It is his eyes, (or is it wallet?)
The man with a car trumps a bicycle rider every time when dating 
Beware of men who love their mothers way too much
Momma’s boys are toys that have no gender
If you have a man, keep him from fire hydrants
Never let him talk to strangers or girls with names 
Make him lift the toilet seat
Tell him it builds muscles and that he’s sweet
Walk him on the pavement by a leash, not on the lawn
Men will pee on anything that breaths or lives in nature
Remember, men are masturbators
With other nasty habits, too numerous here to mention
So give your man a beer.  That is my best advice
Check him daily for fleas and ticks and lice
Before you kiss good night

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Kika Ayala August 10, 2014 at 6:25 PM Earl, this is such a beautiful gem! Hehehehe - Love it and wish that I had penned this one! Thank you for putting it out there! Kika Earl Schumacker August 10, 2014 at 9:07 PM Hi Kika, Thank you so much for your kind comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I get silly sometimes. This is one of those times. Have a great night. Take care. Earl

Toquyen Harrell August 10, 2014 at 1:01 PM Haha, I say it's his wallet. Lol, too funny Earl :) So they like to play on the ground huh? Is that how they get ticks and fleas? haha Earl Schumacker August 10, 2014 at 4:02 PM Hi Toquyen, Thank you. Glad you liked it. Women are much smarter than men. I don't have to advise them of anything. This is just another silly poem. Yes. Men like to roll around on the ground. That is why we have leashes. Have a great day. Take care. Earl