Addiction

it is like a scab on my soul that i scratch at and occasionally reopen it bleeds a little and i dab it with a kleenex when it bleeds alot i tie a scarf around it it leaves me weak but it will heal with a scar that covers over the black hole of my life it was a syringe filled with anger, evil and misgivings a spoon hot with disgust laying blame on everyone and everything in its grasp never forgiving, never forgetting a secret darkness wading knee deep in the waste of my life with no time for living or dying or paying my bills it has taken years to heal years of nursing and aching and rethinking who i am and what i want it has changed shape and size to accommodate the aging of my body and mind and i realize now it was quite simply an error in judgement squandered years i call my addiction