About Me

I am a grossly overweight midget of later years. I have a penchant for funny women, the absurd, and baked goods. I have 826 thousand dollars in the bank and a dose of psoriasis. My personality is that of a freight train with two, loose wheels. I must use bag balm on my undercarriage and moisturizers on my elbows. I burn with barbaric breathing and sweat. My reptile heart is that of a porkyitalian lover. I can beat out a double-paradiddle on a snare drum, or compose electronic pieces. My time is best passed writing, and romping with my 4-legged friends. ----------------------- If you don't already know, ABOUT ME usually refers to a section of a web site or BLOG that tells about the author. This is parody, BTW.