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ABORTED VOW

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Today’s wind shifts too fast like a tangle of invisible lint…perhaps dust, quivering unto fissure of grass where my heart scrapes, as if the air denies unanswered questions so blatantly howling about a litany's crushed promise. Wired thoughts rip my tulip bouquet now strewn on the wayside of angst: how mute hymns from an aborted vow silences a decorated aisle on this day, this fateful day. I turn celibate much like a virgin nun, in front of an altar… half-empty now, that my pain grates the most benevolent of flowers, chafed by a drooping night that has no syllable for me…for on this day, a deserted betrothal leaves me hanging , hanging on a church loft. i’ll never know the why of an insidious choice; except in his runaway scheme,my eyes grow blank…tweezed iodized entombed. Somehow, it is freezing now; a candle in prayer burns an espousal gown; i have never heard a more immense cold than this. ---------------- 4/27/2016 Free Verse Contest for Charlotte Puddifoot

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 6/21/2016 12:59:00 AM
NETTE, Congrats on your awesome free verse win. SKAT
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Date: 5/3/2016 6:40:00 AM
Hi Nette. Congrats for your WIN with this beautiful piece!!! ;-)
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Date: 5/3/2016 1:25:00 AM
a gorgeously wordy write, deep rich imagery, and engaging, my only negative is that great lines need to be savoured, and this is filled with one after the other, to the point of having to re read in context what each one means, ..its brilliant but suffers by that very yard-stick,... still love it tho...Ian
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Date: 5/3/2016 1:24:00 AM
a gorgeously wordy write, deep rich imagery, and engaging, my only negative is that great lines need to be savoured, and this is filled with one after the other, to the point of having to re read in context what each one means, ..its brilliant but suffers by that very yard-stick,... still love it tho...Ian
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Date: 5/2/2016 5:12:00 PM
congrats on your win in my contest, nette! wonderful but chilling imagery...just a couple of things i picked up on which pushed it down into 3rd - the word 'unto' i don't really like to see in a poem, no s on 'silence/s', and i don't think a comma is needed after 'half-empty now', should be a run-on line? could easily have been a 1st or 2nd but for these things
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Date: 5/2/2016 4:23:00 PM
such a deep emotional write Nette many congrats on your win:-) hugs janxx
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Date: 4/30/2016 2:35:00 PM
Its been a while I visited.. I have also not been online for a while due to my work but I am back now and this piece is just the perfect start I need to come back home to my wonderful poetrysoup. This is amazing, beautiful and a high seven! Well done friend
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Date: 4/27/2016 10:47:00 AM
Such a sad tormented write, filled with such anguish..a dark painting indeed
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Date: 4/27/2016 12:13:00 AM
Brilliant, emotive write, Nette! Your words draw us into the despair and pain...a big 7!
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Date: 4/26/2016 2:45:00 PM
Absolutely beautiful, Nette! The phrasing is poetically rich, and you deftly manage to tug at our emotional strings. This goes to my faves:) hugs // paul
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Date: 4/26/2016 1:25:00 PM
Very impressive.Brilliant starting & ending. Everything is perfect..............hugs
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Date: 4/26/2016 1:11:00 PM
A very deep and emotional write Nette...GLIC...god bless...^WW^
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Date: 4/26/2016 12:58:00 PM
This creep deserves to be locked in a dungeon. You always write these extraordinary phrases that capture my now brooding mind. Perfect poem!
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Date: 4/26/2016 12:28:00 PM
- This is impressive, Nette !!! - .... wooow !!!! - Good luck in contest - hugs // Sun :)
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Date: 4/26/2016 11:57:00 AM
Wow, I could feel this deep down inside with every descriptive word!
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