Abducted by far-right Aliens of Antares

From the cradle, I leaned left before I could even talk, Tossing my applesauce leftward before I could walk. I marched in every protest before I turned thirteen, When I wasn't red, then I was green. In college, I joined the DSA, they told me beliefs to hide They said wave the rainbow, I'd lead the nation, with pride They handed me the program, the social solution To create eternal justice, a necessary revolution. First, spend like a sailor who's drunk in a storm Then crush every energy source that keeps people warm Legalize weed, hard drugs, till folks confuse day and night Invite the world's poor, pay their college, its their right Encourage the young to transition, keep parents in the dark, If anyone objects, call them haters, what a lark! We want citizens broke, struggling, and sore, For resentment fuels the revolution we’re working for. I ran for Senator, President too Cheered by crowds, so dumb, who knew? Then one day I was kidnapped by green men from outer space They told me they had to save the human race Their planet already ruined, earth the last stand For Freedom, and Truth, and everything grand They replaced the left half of my brain, returned me to earth. To redeem my radical past I had to prove my worth. Had to pretend to still be left, my country to save I was elected president on a progressive wave I used those green soldiers from Antares, declared martial law, But couldn't rescue my country from the progressive claw So I had to escape with the aliens, join their UFO But all the galaxies were Woke, no place to go. The Antarans looked grim; they would never sell their soul So we went on a suicide mission into a black hole To our great surprise, the black hole turned light to a mirror universe, where left became right Sure, my heart was now on the right of my chest Just a small price to pay, to solve all the rest. No crime in the cities, no locks needed on doors Everyone clean and wholesome, Victorian mores Families strong, with values to hold, Not perfect, but a future of hope could unfold.