Abandoned
Can you see the sadness behind my eyes?
would you be able to feel my pain?
think how it`s feel like
to be by yourself and frightened
they left me like I am nothing
no mother, no father, no one to care for me
no one to raise me or teach me how to be human
with no parents to refrain
The whole world was: too cold, too big and too cruel.
no house or bed to go back to every night,
I lie awake every night, alone under the bridge,
hungry like a Wolf.
overcome with panic, pain, and desperation
migraine that made my whole body throbs
developing a contaminated and stigmatized identity
I was a tender ember seeking solace from above...
I remember the pain I felt and wonder why
when my human needs were ignored, rejected and invalidated
living in a nightmare in the darkness of my soul.
tries to cry out for help, but soon learns that no one will listen
carries my denial like precious cargo without a port of destination.
Inside, my soul became so cold I hated everything and everyone
forced to alienate myself from reality and own experience
I wasn’t given permission to be my own person
It’s hard for me to admit that inside I feel a really lonely person.
It is so degrading and I try to forget, it hurts so much because they are my parents.
I suddenly realized that my lifelong search for love
and acceptance had finally ended in the arms of a foster parents and Roman Catholic Church.
I am a survivor because every day I make a choice
not to be governed by their harsh words or actions.
Hiding my pain and acting strong, afraid to cry and show my tears,
I struggle with all this years later.”
The memories flood back, still so many years to go
hopping growing up will bring escape and freedom.
Thanks to my
foster parents and Roman Catholic Church
I am a creative man who is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.
Copyright © Yuhi Musinga | Year Posted 2015
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