Abandoned

Can you see the sadness behind my eyes? would you be able to feel my pain? think how it`s feel like to be by yourself and frightened they left me like I am nothing no mother, no father, no one to care for me no one to raise me or teach me how to be human with no parents to refrain The whole world was: too cold, too big and too cruel. no house or bed to go back to every night, I lie awake every night, alone under the bridge, hungry like a Wolf. overcome with panic, pain, and desperation migraine that made my whole body throbs developing a contaminated and stigmatized identity I was a tender ember seeking solace from above... I remember the pain I felt and wonder why when my human needs were ignored, rejected and invalidated living in a nightmare in the darkness of my soul. tries to cry out for help, but soon learns that no one will listen carries my denial like precious cargo without a port of destination. Inside, my soul became so cold I hated everything and everyone forced to alienate myself from reality and own experience I wasn’t given permission to be my own person It’s hard for me to admit that inside I feel a really lonely person. It is so degrading and I try to forget, it hurts so much because they are my parents. I suddenly realized that my lifelong search for love and acceptance had finally ended in the arms of a foster parents and Roman Catholic Church. I am a survivor because every day I make a choice not to be governed by their harsh words or actions. Hiding my pain and acting strong, afraid to cry and show my tears, I struggle with all this years later.” The memories flood back, still so many years to go hopping growing up will bring escape and freedom. Thanks to my foster parents and Roman Catholic Church I am a creative man who is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.