Vince Suzadail Jr. Poet Rhyme

Abandoned

I sit here feeling so abandoned
Will I ever get there again
No hygiene care and the need to go
I haven’t been there since I don’t know when
Access blocked, I’m waiting it seems tears
Just one more time before I die
I’m growing older waiting my turn
Think I’ll stand here forever and cry
What’s taking so long
Is there something wrong
Pretty soon it will no longer matter
I’m beginning to feel weird
I think I’m growing a beard
Someone put a nuclear device in my bladder
My wife said stop your crying 
It’s not like you’re dying
You’re cackling like an old hen
I can’t help it dear
But It seems like a year
Our daughter’s in the bathroom again.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Keith Bickerstaffe December 10, 2008 at 3:26 AM Typical Suzadailian imagery, imagination and style... another excellent piece! Best wishes, Keith

Robin L. Gass November 18, 2008 at 5:25 AM Great poem. Made me start my day with a laugh. Hit close to home. Robin

Dima N. November 12, 2008 at 2:44 AM LOL...at least when this happens (soon), i'll smile remebering your poem ... (Thank You for your comments)

Juliane Thomas November 10, 2008 at 3:15 PM This one really had me laughing! I know the feeling all too well. Very funny poem, especially the line about the nuclear device :)

Ali Matheny November 9, 2008 at 3:42 PM Nicely written poem. . . I was wondering if you could read my newer poems please

Mohammad Yamin November 6, 2008 at 3:02 PM A good write and a down to earth poem reflecting beautifully a domestic problem. Take my advice keep an empty whisky bottle ready to empty your bladder when such a difficult situation arises. Thanks for your beautiful comments on my Quatrain Changed Values. See the date of my posting and then see the short time in which fingers were raised to the problem you are pointing out. Obama holds promise not only to your country but to the world. -Mohammad

Christopher Higgins November 6, 2008 at 10:37 AM Great write on a common problem. I love this and the pace of it. Fine job.

Danielle White November 6, 2008 at 10:00 AM I thought you were talking about your prostate! LOL Love ya', Danielle (Humph!)

Janetta Harrington November 6, 2008 at 12:08 AM i don't think this is a pecular poem at all. i never got to take a bath by myself until i was 50. 2 girls and 1 boy, and friends seemed to either be in the bathroom or when i was there they all gathered around] as if i were not naked sitting in the tub. my youngest daughter even brought a neighbor in to my bath that was mad at her. when they were little they would have fights outside the door if i kept it closed. any way, this is a great write. love it ....smile janetta

Jacob Wölf November 5, 2008 at 7:26 PM a very peculiar poem......but it makes alot of sense to me........... btw: thank you very much for your comment and advice i appreciate it

Michael Torres November 4, 2008 at 3:47 PM Vince my brother this is wonderful. I think we all can relate to this selfish act on our beloved's behalf. kkReally enjoyed. God bless you Michael

Ali Matheny November 4, 2008 at 9:25 AM I Absolutly love this poem! Thank You for commenting on my poem I'm Broken. What did you think of my GoodBye! poem?

Carrie Richards November 4, 2008 at 8:51 AM You nailed it, Vince! This one I plan to print out, and show it to my daughter! Her teenage years ( while in the bathroom) were just about the breaking point for her dad!! ~ You captured the whole nine yards!! Hang in there! Carrie

Chitra Lakhera November 4, 2008 at 8:05 AM Well, this brought a real good smile to me...of which I'm really in need:) Oh how funny this is:)Brilliant work. Love, Chitra

Lisa Cooper November 4, 2008 at 8:02 AM I know exactly how you feel! I have one bathroom and I have to share it with three teenagers! it seems like when one goes in the other is waiting by the door...... laying in wait............ I usually end up walking or should I say running to the gas station a half a block away. they know me by name and have the key ready for me as a breeze passed them. If my kids found out they would use my one and only escape. great pen and thanks for sharing

Sharon Winter November 4, 2008 at 5:16 AM ~lol~ Good one! The nuclear device was too much! What a riot - thanks for the morning smile, and good luck! Love, Shar

Syed Amaan Ahmad November 4, 2008 at 3:41 AM wow! what a masterpiece! I can imaginel the NEED, literally hahaha

Nigel Fawcett November 4, 2008 at 3:30 AM Tell me about it! My two brothers and I grew up in a one bathroom house with three sisters ... no wonder we spent as much time as possible sleeping over with friends! Brilliantly written. Love, Nigel

Kristin Reynolds November 4, 2008 at 3:11 AM lol You poor man. We just got a second bathroom started, so believe me, i KNOW what it is to hold it with 7 poeple in the family! lol Poor man, get another bathroom asap! love Kristin

Sean Kelly November 4, 2008 at 2:46 AM Yup Vince , been there , done that ... SORRY ,I'll rephrase ... Nearly been there, to do that ..... Happy election day .... Please vote for Fred ... Unsure of the ticket , but I think it's only one-way .....

Nita Martin November 3, 2008 at 8:07 PM this is so funny you poor thing time to build a new bathroom and also like your wife said at least you could hide out side if need be us girls have a hard time doing that love ya as always out did yourself on this one your friend and mentee if only someday to be able to write half as well as you Nita