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A Slower Dance

We are experts at the dance of drawing near And you lift your hand, as though my hand to touch; I approach this lovely dance with lingering fear, For I simply cannot swing into this trust. You are expert at the dance of drawing near, Yet I fear to take your hand, t'would be too much; I wonder what we call this uncertain dance, These fancy moves we memorize, then enhance. I approach this lovely dance with lingering fear And you lift your hand, as though my hand to touch; We are experts of the dance of drawing near, But I simply cannot swing into this trust. I pull away, turn aside, and face the back; This disturbing slide revealing that which lacks.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 1/8/2011 3:26:00 PM
Once again, good descriptiveness and decent rhyming. An impressive output.
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Date: 1/8/2011 9:58:00 AM
Beautiful images my dear Deb... enjoyed your work as usual... luv Michael
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Date: 1/7/2011 2:47:00 PM
There is a nice waltz after the eighth line, Nice Petrarchan sonnet.
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Date: 1/7/2011 2:00:00 PM
yes the new form is clever, but apart from the new form, your poem contains repeated emphasis of the main point, suggesting that this is a recurring situation, and indeed it probably is a recurring situation....so I prefer it...the original was fine of course but the shortness was a limitation....ok - it's lovely !.... thanks for keeping in touch, Deb...sincerely... ..Syd
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Date: 1/7/2011 1:24:00 PM
I like the extended version even more, Deb! Wonderful description of the "dance" in which some lovers engage. Love, Carolyn
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things