A Rum N Raisin Special - Origins

Milly was a nutty cat as nutty as can be An also nutty poet said, “She’s nuttier than me.” And that was saying something and I think you will agree Because that poet was Deb M from way across the sea Now, no one knows how it was done, but when asleep in bed And Deb awoke to find that loopy cat upon her head Young Milly had had kittens although no one knew she’d bred She’d left her scruffy kittens in a den behind the shed Those kittens couldn’t find their mum which really isn’t funny So let’s direct this story in a way that’s far more sunny A feline rescue centre had picked up those little strays And cared for them… then put them in a crate for many days Okay… that's still not funny but means justifies the end And if the airplane doesn’t crash then you can all depend That these two kittens that have had a pretty awful start Will still collapse in laughter when their crate fills up with FART Rum said, “I know it was you, because it wasn’t me.” And Raisin said, “But I’m a lady, my wind can’t go free.” A poodle in another crate said, “Okay, I confess, I ate my master’s sandwich which was filled with egg and cress.” * Now, back in Aus when Deb was weeding near the garden shed She scratched her head at what she knew must be a kitten’s bed She called the rescue centre and without too much ado They said they’d homed two kittens and the name was one she knew She quickly sent a Soupmail to a scatty-head in Blighty She said you give them a good home, or it’s not the almighty But me who’ll come to sort you out… and I’ll be seeing red And I shall wind some grubby cling film all around your head * To cut a story - very long, to make a story - short I’ll tell you that in their new home they met with this retort “I hope you know that there’s a Poet that lives in this house,” Came the squeaky little voice from a tiny mouse Rum said, “We have crossed the world to find our brand new home, And we ain’t going nowhere, though that don’t mean we won’t roam So don’t be getting ideas that we won’t be chasing you Because we understand that sometimes there’s not much to do.” The little mouse just grinned and said, “You came here from a poet, Deb M would have kept you but your mother didn’t know it But just be sure your every move would be put down in rhyme You couldn’t have a private life, she’d grass you every time.” Raisin licked her paws and said, “You’ve got a lot to say, I think that I might let you go to fight another day.” The mouse said, “This too is a poet’s house; just live with it And he writes about cats as well.”… At which Rum said, “Oh sh…”