A Relapse Nightmare

I slowly crush it between my fingers, Can it be harmful? I roll it to just the perfect size, Can it be guilt that I feel? I think of a good spot to hide, Can I let anyone know how I truly feel? I walk past my neighbors houses, Can anyone notice me? And cross the open field, Is it worth all this trouble? I hide behind a tree and squat, Should I go through with this? I close my eyes and take a deep breath, But can it be? I light it up and take a puff, Reality fades. Everything greys. Regret crashes in. I should have thought twice. I swear - never again! The substance that cost me my life.