January 11,2014
Please! For the record! Poly-amorous as I am using it here (remember the poem is mine and not what you the reader project onto it) is not a synonym for 'Don Juan' or 'Casanova' and certainly not a synonym for poly-sexual. I'll admit (in an attempt to be completely honest here) that sexual feelings might well be part of a poly-amorous relationship, however they certainly don't define it. I have to admit, like Jimmy Carter (the last honest president perhaps since Lincoln... Only partially serious here) that 'I have lusted after women I was not married to in my heart.' Yes I am an adulterer just like you. But to me, God's convicting me of this sin, was never meant to demean me, but to simply remind me that we have all sinned all sins. Salvation is God's blessing on a broken world, not wages for pay, or 'heaven' for overtime.
The first stanza is about love having a new meaning for me at this stage of my life. I'm 71. There is no possibility of a family for me anymore, no future family to protect as there is when people are much younger. While I can enjoy the fact that a woman is attracted to me, I am no longer enamored by any woman's desire to have me all to herself, nor do I wish to tie down a woman in this way. I still think I believe in commitment, but desire a woman who, like me, believes she is strong enough, and capable of trusting me to the extent that she able to actually accept if not welcome anyone I love into our relationship. The darker undercurrent of this viewpoint is that someday, in the name of love, we may either or both be required to let the other move on, possibly to a new love (or not) , but always lovingly in support the other's personal growth and their soul's needs. She cannot and I cannot allow our personal feelings of self worth to rest solely on our staying together. This love that I am speaking of is beyond jealousy and may not even be possible, but it is what I aspire to.
The second stanza is about the fear we all confront when faced by the prospect of being loved by another. Unlocking our hearts is unfortunately the only way we can know the other's love is real. We must risk losing it all to have a chance of winning it.
The third stanza is about the two pillars that keep the building from collapsing on itself, Integrity (no one is conned) and Surrender (your heart cannot just be loaned out for a limited time, it must be given) .
The fourth stanza is about understanding the fact that what ever the gift's we lay at the feet of another, they can still be rejected. The end purpose of loving another is actually just the gift of our love only, not what we naturally expect (at least hope) to get back. Love and control are diametrical opposites. There are no elements that belong to both sets. (Isn't math fun?)
As the poem has aged on me, I have recently noticed the last 4 words of the poem. Initially I was not sure why the first 'I am' is not capitalized but the second 'I AM' is capitalized. I guess I just saw it as a way of expressing exuberance. Now however, after adding the new subtitle, I think the poem is actually suggesting that the poly-amorous person male or female, is a person touched by divinity, especially blessed by God, a person willing to risk his own happiness and even his primary relationship perhaps, for the greater good of helping others understand that they are lovable (in every way) . So now to me the exuberance has taken on even greater meaning, extended to being joined with God is His mission to show us all that we are lovable.
Personally if someone were to love me to the exclusion of all others, I would be thinking about (in love) committing them to a mental institution. If they were to insist that I love them that way I would be tempted to run as from the devil himself/herself.: -) It is the love my woman has to share with the world that will make me proud to be her mate, not just her physical beauty, the goals we share, or the love she gives to me alone. Ultimately what will bring me to my knees and make me ask her to marry me will be the fact that we both share the same purpose, a desire to first and always serve God.